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    DAVE: i wonder if he had like
DAVE: friends
 DIRK: It sounds like he knew a lot of people, at least later in life.
 DAVE: sure
 DAVE: i mean im sure he knew rose at some point because obviously they teamed up
 DAVE: but as fairly old people?
 DAVE: it sounds as though they only knew each other as a result of their notability
 DIRK: This seems likely.
 DAVE: i mean more like the friends i grew up with
 DAVE: he couldnt have grown up with john or jade as friends because they were already old by the time he got there
 DAVE: this cool 80s kid fantasy was probably just a lot lonelier than ive been picturing in my sweet daydreams
 DAVE: i didnt even have the MAYOR god what a nightmare now that i think about it
 DAVE: i wonder if all he cared about was making ludicrous shit and fighting evil pastry moguls
 DAVE: do you know if he had any other interests
 DIRK: Like what?
 DAVE: i dont know
 DAVE: did you ever read any urban legends about.....
 DAVE: paleontology
 DIRK: Paleontology?
 DAVE: yes the scientific study of dead shit
 DIRK: Not that I recall.
 DAVE: hmm
 DAVE: i guess he probably didnt do anything with that
 DAVE: what a shame
 DAVE: maybe he never even got the idea since he had completely different experiences
 DAVE: but if i were suddenly dropped back in the 20th century id probably look into it at some point
 DAVE: i dunno how though
 DAVE: i think it would be mainly like
 DAVE: some sort of theraputic interest
 DAVE: something relaxing to think about instead of a bunch of ironic and stupidly ambitious objectives
 DIRK: Yeah, like the porn bots.
 DAVE: yeah exactly
 DIRK: Maybe some day, when we're both old men, you can live a quiet life tending to your fossils, and I will do the same with my dear collection of simple-minded chat robots fixated on puppet ass.
 DAVE: sounds like the fucking life to me
 DIRK: What was the lightning round question this stemmed from again?
 DIRK: I forget.
 DAVE: dunno
 DAVE: maybe were tapering off with the lightning round stuff anyway and its just naturally deteriorating into regular dudechat
 DIRK: Maybe.
 DIRK: You sure you don't have anything else before we say it's officially deteriorated?
 DAVE: k heres a curveball
 DAVE: what the fuck are you wearing
 DIRK: My prince gear.
 DIRK: You know. Leggings, slippers, the poofy asshole pants, a hood with some sort of cloth tiara deal embedded in it.
 DIRK: Basic stuff for princes, apparently.
 DAVE: huh
 DAVE: gotta say
 DAVE: some of these god tier ensembles really are...
 DAVE: something
 DIRK: I thought I hated it at first.
 DIRK: But over the couple hours I spent flying back, with time to think about all sorts of stuff...
 DIRK: It kinda grew on me.
 DIRK: The asshole pants are pretty damn comfortable, so I dunno if I even care how stupid they look.
 DIRK: And I *am* kind of an asshole, after all. So who am I to complain.
 DAVE: i thought the same thing about my cape outfit at first
 DAVE: felt like some bozo from the renaissance festival
 DAVE: like maybe i should get on a horse and sing a shitty ballad
 DAVE: but then it grew on me pretty quickly
 DAVE: hardly ever took it off in three years
 DAVE: youre right its comfortable and theyre fuckin magic pajamas or whatever and they start to feel like part of who you are after long enough
 DAVE: i mean they are supposed to last you forever right
 DAVE: kinda by definition since they come along with immortality
 DAVE: maybe part of their magical nature includes this insidious quality where they grow on you
 DAVE: or not i dunno maybe this is bullshit and ill just wear some normal person clothes when this is all over
 DAVE: what about you are you gonna wear god duds forever
 DIRK: Nah. I'm sure I'll wear regular stuff again at some point.
 DIRK: If a shirt with a hat on it can be deemed regular.
 DAVE: im cool with deeming it as such
 DAVE: yeah maybe youre right and we should all stop dressing like tools from an infinite magic slumber party for floundering teens
 DAVE: and just look like standard floundering teens
 DAVE: some of the getups are pretty out there
 DAVE: jakes tho...
 DAVE: uh
 DAVE: damn??
 DIRK: I...
 DIRK: Yeah.
 DIRK: That page costume.
 DIRK: I'd have commented on it, except that would've been casting a stone through a particularly fragile glass wardrobe.
 DIRK: So... I just flew away.
 DAVE: yeah there was uh
 DAVE: some palpable awkwardness there
 DIRK: Hm.
 DAVE: sorry im still
 DAVE: tryin to
 DAVE: like
 DAVE: wrap my head around
 DAVE: ...
 DIRK: What?
 DAVE: uh
 DAVE: dammit
 DAVE: ok i guess i might have to break one of our lightning round rules
 DAVE: only a little tho
 DAVE: i hope
 DIRK: About what?
 DIRK: The personal stuff?
 DAVE: yeah
 DIRK: That's fine.
 DAVE: ok maybe im not even asking you anything
 DAVE: maybe this is just a starting point to ramble to myself
 DAVE: on a certain topic
 DAVE: i think...
 DAVE: there is a SLIGHT chance...
 DAVE: i may be the biggest idiot in the world
 DIRK: ?
 DAVE: when it comes to understanding some things about my bro
 DAVE: some pieces i never really put together
 DAVE: about him
 DAVE: until maybe literally right now
 DAVE: which i think makes me an objective dumbass
 DIRK: What does this have to do with me and Jake?
 DAVE: idk
 DAVE: nothin
 DAVE: maybe i dont wanna ask you anything about jake
 DAVE: maybe ill just keep abiding by the code of basic dude manners on that
 DAVE: if i bother skirtin the line of this rule maybe id rather ask you other stuff instead
 DIRK: Like what?
 DAVE: like
 DAVE: um
 DAVE: say one of your best friends is a knucklehead you havent seen in three years
 DAVE: and unless you use ultra direct and explicit language he just wont put two and two together himself
 DAVE: and also say ANOTHER best friend is a girl you feel like you had kind of a special relationship with but you ALSO hadnt seen in three years
 DAVE: and shes asleep
 DAVE: but at some point shell wake up and youll have to talk to her
 DIRK: ...
 DAVE: this is dumb im not making any sense
 DAVE: lemme start over
 DAVE: ok lets say
 DAVE: way back whenever
 DAVE: howww
 DAVE: ...
 DAVE: how did you tell your friends
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