TEREZI: H3 4LW4YS KNOWS 3X4CTLY WH4T TO S4Y TO P1SS M3 OFF
TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NG H3 DO3S
TEREZI: H1S F4K3 GOD T13R SU1T, H1S SMUG 3XPR3SS1ON, TH3 DUMB4SS W4YS H3 BUTCH3RS H1S S3NT3NC3S
TEREZI: S4Y1NG SH1T L1K3 '4LL G3TT1NG UP 4T H1S MOTH3R FUCK1N HONK ON', 444444RGH!
TEREZI: 1 H4T3 1T SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
TEREZI: BUT 1 K33P COM1NG B4CK FOR MOR3
TEREZI: H3S L1K3 4 DRUG!
TEREZI: 3V3N MOR3 4DD1CT1V3 TH4N TH1S...
TEREZI: R3VOLT1NG SOD4 1 C4NT STOP DR1NK1NG
TEREZI: 1V3 H4D SO MUCH F4YGO 1 C4NT 3V3N T4ST3 TH3 COLOR 4NYMOR3 >:[
TEREZI: 1 JUST T4ST3 TH3 SUG4R 4ND TH3 BUBBL3S 4ND TH3 4WFUL FL4VOR 1T L34V3S B3H1ND, WH1CH JUST M4K3S M3 DR1NK MOR3 TO W4SH 1T 4W4Y
TEREZI: UNT1L 1 F33L SO N4STY 1 H4V3 TO T4K3 4 LONG SOD4 N4P, BUT 1 W4K3 UP LO4TH1NG MYS3LF 3V3N MOR3
TEREZI: SO 1 JUST R34CH FOR 4NOTH3R BOTTL3
TEREZI: 1T 1S TRULY...
TEREZI: TH3 W1CK3D 3L1X1R
TEREZI: *SOB*
KARKAT: TEREZI...
TEREZI: 1 W4NT H1M TO B3 OUT OF MY L1F3
TEREZI: H3 1S TH3 WORST TH1NG TH4TS 3V3R H4PP3N3D TO M3
TEREZI: BUT
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS YOU C4NT H3LP WHO YOU H4T3
KARKAT: THIS IS KILLING ME, HEARING THIS.
KARKAT: I SERIOUSLY WANT TO WEEP ACTUAL PUKE OUT OF MY EYEBALLS FROM THIS STORY.
KARKAT: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???
KARKAT: I'VE GOT TO SAY, I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING. IF YOU TOLD ME SWEEPS AGO YOU AND HE...
KARKAT: I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. LIKE IF THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL THERE, I SURE AS FUCK DIDN'T READ IT.
TEREZI: Y34H, 1T SNUCK UP ON M3
TEREZI: 1T D1DNT H3LP TH4T H3 T3RROR1Z3D US WH3N W3 W3R3 H1D1NG FROM J4CK
TEREZI: R1GHT UND3R MY NOS3 TOO
TEREZI: SOM3HOW 1 D1DNT PUT TH3 P13C3S TOG3TH3R 4T TH3 T1M3 4ND L3T H1M G3T 4W4Y W1TH MURD3R
TEREZI: 4ND GR4DU4LLY 1 ST4RT3D H4V1NG TH3S3 UNCONTROLL4BL3 THOUGHTS 4BOUT H1M
TEREZI: D4RK THOUGHTS
TEREZI: 4ND WH3N 1 WOULD C4TCH 4 WH1FF OF H1M 1N TH3 CORR1DORS, L1K3 H3 W4S T4UNT1NG M3, TH4T JUST F4NN3D TH3 FL4M3S
TEREZI: TH3N W3 ST4RT3D T4LK1NG SH1T W1TH 34CH OTH3R MOR3 4ND MOR3
TEREZI: 4ND H3 W4S SO MUCH N4ST13R TH4N H3 3V3R US3D TO B3! W4Y MOR3 TH4N 4NY OF OUR FR13NDS 3V3R W3R3
TEREZI: ON3 T1M3 H3 ST4RT3D MOCK1NG MY BL1NDN3SS
TEREZI: WH1CH N3V3R BOTH3R3D M3 WH3N 4NYON3 3LS3 D1D 1T
TEREZI: BUT SOM3HOW, TH3 STUFF H3 S41D...
TEREZI: 1 L3T 1T G3T UND3R MY SK1N
TEREZI: 4ND COMB1N3D W1TH M33T1NG 4 LOT OF N3W P3OPL3 1 F3LT L1K3 1 COULDNT L1V3 UP TO
TEREZI: TH4TS WH3N 1 ST4RT3D R3CONS1D3R1NG 4R4N34S OFF3R
KARKAT: I KNEW IT!
KARKAT: I KNEW HE MUST HAVE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT DECISION. THAT SLIMY BASTARD.
KARKAT: THIS IS MOSTLY MY FAULT. I WASN'T VIGILANT ENOUGH WITH HIM, AND I LET OUR MOIRALLEGIANCE BREAK DOWN.
KARKAT: IF I KEPT A CLOSER EYE ON HIM, MAYBE HE WOULDN'T HAVE LURED YOU INTO HIS SPINNING TENT OF SHIT.
TEREZI: NO, YOU SHOULDNT F33L L1K3...
KARKAT: OR MAYBE IT'S KANAYA'S FAULT? SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A REALLY GOOD AUSPISTICE. MAYBE SHE COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS, IF SHE WASN'T SO PREOCCUPIED HERSELF.
KARKAT: NO WAIT! IT'S ACTUALLY MY FAULT AGAIN! IF I HAD BEEN ON THE BALL AND AUSPISTICIZED BETWEEN HER AND ROSE, SHE WOULD HAVE HAD THE TIME TO AUSPISTICIZE BETWEEN YOU AND GAMZEE!
KARKAT: DAMMIT, I ALWAYS SAY I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ROMANCE, YET I ROUTINELY UNDERESTIMATE ITS COMPLEXITY, SO I ONLY FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO AFTER IT'S WAY TOO LATE!
KARKAT: GOD I'M SO STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID
TEREZI: BL4RG SHUT UP!
TEREZI: 1TS NO ON3S F4ULT BUT M1N3!
TEREZI: 1M TH3 ON3 WHO H4S TO D34L W1TH 1T
KARKAT: YEAH OK.
KARKAT: FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, HE'LL PROBABLY JUST BREAK IT OFF AND LEAVE YOU ONCE WE GET TO THE NEW SESSION.
KARKAT: ALL HIS LOYALTIES AND PRIORITIES ARE TOTALLY WARPED NOW. I'M NOT SURE WHAT HE REALLY CARES ABOUT ANYMORE, BUT IT SURE ISN'T ANY OF US.
TEREZI: YOU TH1NK
TEREZI: H3 W1LL L34V3 M3?
KARKAT: YEAH. I DO.
TEREZI: *SOB!!!*
KARKAT: WHOA, WHAT??
KARKAT: ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
TEREZI: NO!
TEREZI: 1D B3 D3V4ST4T3D 1F H3 JUST
TEREZI: SUDD3NLY D1TCH3D M3 L1K3 TH4T
KARKAT: OK, HELP ME OUT!
KARKAT: YOU'RE CONFUSING ME HERE.
TEREZI: 1D F33L P4TH3T1C!!!
TEREZI: 4ND 1 GU3SS
TEREZI: 4 S1CK 4ND T3RR1BL3 P4RT OF M3 DO3SNT W4NT H1M TO GO
TEREZI: BUT 1F H3 DO3S 1 W4NT 1T TO B3 B3C4US3 1 T3LL H1M 1TS OV3R!
KARKAT: WOW.
KARKAT: ALRIGHT, I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY.
KARKAT: I'M JUST TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE HERE.
KARKAT: BUT I'M NOT ALWAYS SURE WHAT THE RIGHT THING TO SAY IS!
KARKAT: I'M DOING MY FUCKING BEST. THIS IS COMPLICATED FOR ME TOO, YOU'RE BOTH MY FRIENDS.
TEREZI: 1 KNOW
TEREZI: 1 4PPR3C14T3 YOUR 1NT3NT1ONS K4RK4T
TEREZI: M4YB3
TEREZI: M4YB3 1T WOULD B3 B3TT3R 1F YOU W3R3NT S1TT1NG UP TH3R3 1N TH4T B4CKW4RDS CH41R WH1L3 YOU T4LK3D TO M3?
KARKAT: WHAT?
KARKAT: WHY??
DAVE: yeah dude you should probably ditch the chair
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY CHAIR.
DAVE: or at least sit on it frontways
DAVE: or offer her another chair?
DAVE: i dunno its kind of a dumb affectation in this context
KARKAT: NO, LOOK. IT'S CASUAL AND RELAXED.
KARKAT: LIKE, IT VISUALLY CONVEYS THAT MY PRESENCE IN THE CONVERSATION IS HUMBLE AND NONTHREATENING, YET FRANK AND ATTENTIVE.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
DAVE: to sit on the goddamn floor
KARKAT: WHY SHOULD I SQUAT ON THE DIRTY FLOOR, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE!
DAVE: so you can be on the same vertical plane with your friend while you exhibit compassion for her grody clown problem
TEREZI: D4V3 1TS F1N3
TEREZI: N3V3R M1ND 4BOUT TH3 CH41R, 1 DONT C4R3
TEREZI: 1T JUST STRUCK M3 4S 4 B1T D1STR4CT1NGLY S1LLY, TH4TS 4LL
KARKAT: OK, WOW, FINE!
KARKAT: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED!
KARKAT: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF CREATURE COMFORT YOU SUPPLY!!!
DAVE: karkat just threw a tantrum about a chair
DAVE: i just won karkat tantrum bingo