KARKAT: OK, LOOK I'M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR PRECIOUS STUPID CAPE. JUST LISTEN.
KARKAT: BEFORE YOU GO OFF TO SNOG TEREZI IN YOUR IDIOTIC LITTLE VILLAGE OF NUTRITION CYLINDERS, HEAR ME OUT.
DAVE: man
DAVE: you are so overblowing this
KARKAT: BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I AM!
DAVE: yeah you are
DAVE: you have some idea about us or what were getting up to
DAVE: so weve done a few things together to pass the time so what
DAVE: i dont even think you could call them dates or anything
DAVE: what the fuck would even qualify as a date on this gross dark meteor
KARKAT: DAVE, CAN WE JUST CUT THE SHIT?
KARKAT: I AM NOT AN IMBECILE. YOU ARE BOTH PLAINLY TIPPING INTO FLUSHED TERRITORY IRRESPECTIVE OF ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS OR WHATEVER LAME CONDITIONS IT IS HUMANS BELIEVE TO BE OPTIMAL FOR PURSUING A MATESPRITSHIP.
KARKAT: ANYONE CAN SEE THAT, IT'S THE SHITTIEST KEPT SECRET ON THIS METEOR. PROBABLY EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR GETS IT, AND LET'S FACE IT, HE'S A LITTLE SLOW.
KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES?
DAVE: we have one of those???
KARKAT: I HAVE SEEN THOUSANDS OF TROLL ROMANCE FILMS, EACH DEALING WITH TOPICS FAR MORE SUBTLE AND COMPLEX THAN YOUR PEDESTRIAN HUMAN MIND COULD EVER GRASP.
KARKAT: AND IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, I'VE ALREADY WATCHED HUNDREDS OF YOUR MORE PRIMITIVE BUT MODERATELY ENTERTAINING ROMANCE FILMS.
KARKAT: REMEMBER HOW I DOWNLOADED A FUCK TON OF THEM AFTER DISCOVERING YOUR SPECIES? I AM A CURIOUS MAN, DAVE, YOU COULD LEARN FROM ME.
DAVE: yeah i remember
DAVE: havent you only watched a bunch of shitty dane cook movies on infinite loop since we left
KARKAT: YOU'RE SEVERELY EXAGGERATING, BUT YES I HAVE SAMPLED HIS WORK.
DAVE: dude
DAVE: you know youre only pretending to be a huge fan of his bullshit to piss me off
KARKAT: AGAIN LOOK AT HOW SELF ABSORBED YOU'RE BEING!!!
KARKAT: I HAPPEN TO THINK HE HAS A BRILLIANT COMEDIC MIND, FOR A HUMAN.
DAVE: hrnngngnngghhhh
DAVE: it turns out that exact sentence is my one weakness
DAVE: you win bro you got your girl back
KARKAT: OH SHUT UP.
KARKAT: I AM NOT HERE TO DEBATE YOU ON THE FINER POINTS OF CINEMA, OR TO "GET MY GIRL BACK."
KARKAT: HOW DESPERATE DO YOU THINK I AM?
KARKAT: I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO DO THE OPPOSITE.
KARKAT: I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M TOTALLY OK WITH IT.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: ok then
KARKAT: BUT JUST LISTEN, AND TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. I KNOW THAT'S HARD FOR YOU.
KARKAT: HERE, PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.