TT: What game? uu: YOu KNOW WHAT GAME. uu: THE ONE WHERE I SAY. I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOu SOME DAY. uu: AND THERE'S NOTHING YOu CAN DO ABOuT IT? uu: JuST SOME MORE MENACING SHIT LIKE THAT. uu: ALL JuST BuNDLED uP IN THE PRETENSE OF A LOT OF uSELESS FuCKING PuZZLES. TT: Oh, right. TT: That game. TT: And here I thought you were going to ask me to draw you more weird porn for some reason. uu: WELL. THE NIGHT IS STILL YOuNG. SO WHO KNOWS? uu: BuT NAH. I WAS JuST DROPPING BY AGAIN TO SAY HOW I'M GONNA KILL YOu. THAT'S ALL. uu: AND THIS IS JuST ASSuMING YOu DON'T ALL DIE BEFORE I GET THE CHANCE TO PuZZLEMuRDER YOu. ON ACCOuNT OF YOu BEING A BuNCH OF HIDEOuS FuCKuPS. uu: I MEAN LOOK AT THIS. uu: YOu ALREADY BLEW IT. TT: Blew what? uu: ON DERSE. uu: YOu uPSET THE ORDER. DIDN'T YOu. uu: YOu WENT AND PISSED OFF THE WITCH? uu: NOW THEY'RE GOING TO HuNT YOu DOWN DuDE! uu: THEY'RE PROBABLY ON THEIR WAY. TO KILL YOu RIGHT NOW. TT: I'm pretty well hidden on Derse. I doubt they'll find me until I'm ready to be found again. uu: NO. NOT ON DERSE. ON YOuR PLANET. EARTH?? uu: YOu'RE PRETTY FuCKING EASY TO FIND THERE. DON'T YOu THINK? uu: OH YES. YOuR AGGRESSORS ARE COMING FOR YOu. I HAVE SEEN IT. uu: IN FACT. THEY ARE PROBABLY ALREADY HERE. TT: Yeah. TT: Well, I was expecting as much. TT: It's kind of why I was on my way to the roof just now. TT: Until I was interrupted by this window appearing, and then by you. TT: Maybe I should try plugging it in? uu: OH MY GOD. WHO CARES? uu: IT'S JuST SOME MORE POINTLESS TRASH FOR YOu TO OBSESS OVER, AND DISTRACT YOu FROM GETTING ANY ACTuAL RELEVANT SHIT DONE. uu: THE AMOuNT TIME YOu PEOPLE WASTE. IT IS FuCKING uNBELIEVABLE TO ME. uu: I READ ABOuT SOME OF THE THINGS YOu AND YOuR PREDECESSORS HAVE DONE. FAR MORE THAN I CARED TO. TRuST ME. uu: AND EVERY TIME. I'M ALWAYS JuST... uu: *GET THE FuCK ON WITH IT ALREADY.* TT: I didn't think you were much of a historian. uu: I'M NOT. uu: SHE SENDS ME SO MuCH BuLLSHIT ABOuT THIS. YOu DON'T EVEN KNOW. uu: SHE WANTS TO HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. LIKE EXCHANGE THEORIES AND SHIT. AND I HAVE TO JuST BE LIKE *BITCH I DON'T GOD DAMN CARE!!!* uu: EVERY TIME. uu: BuT IT DOESN'T MATTER. WHAT'S THE NEXT THING I INVARIABLY FIND ON MY TERMINAL? uu: ANOTHER GOD DAMN WALL OF TEXT. uu: ALL COLOR CODED AND FORMATTED FOR ME TO READ. AND EVERYTHING. uu: JuST WALLS AND WALLS. OF CANDY ASSED TOOTY FRuITY FuCKING SHIT. LOADS. OF. TEXT. uu: OF PEOPLE BABBLING MOSTLY. uu: WE ARE TALKING ABOuT MIGRAINE INDuCING DIARRHETIC VERTICAL SuICIDE DROPS OF uGLY FuCKING WORDS. uu: IMPENETRABLY ASININE RAINBOW FREEFALLS OF FRIVOLOuS BANTER. GOT IT? uu: SO I SAY. WHAT IS THIS? I TOLD YOu IF YOu SENT ME ANY MORE FAN FICTION I WOuLD FLY TO PROSPIT AND MuRDER YOu IN YOuR SLEEP. WHICH I STILL MIGHT DO *REGARDLESS*. BuT ANYWAY. uu: SHE SAYS THESE ARE ACTuAL ANCIENT TRANSCRIPTS! uu: I'M LIKE. WELL FuCK. uu: HOW CAN THESE PEOPLE TALK SO MuCH. uu: I FEEL LIKE I'M PICKING uP SOME BAD HABITS FROM YOu WINDBAGGING PISSFACES. uu: LOOK AT THIS. I WASN'T EVEN GONNA GO OFF LIKE THIS. uu: THIS WAS SuPPOSED TO BE JuST. AN IN AND OuT FuCK YOu. uu: I'M SO DONE HERE. uu: ANYWAY. LATER. YOu HORSEPORKING TWIT. TT: Wait. TT: Just one thing before you go. TT: Your sister was saying you were having some doubts about playing. TT: Is that true?
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.