grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GA: Your Speech Was Really
GA: Emotional
CG: OK I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED YOU BUSTING MY BULGE ABOUT THE SPEECH NOW.
CG: I'VE TAKEN ENOUGH SHIT. I GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP OK?
CG: AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, WHY DON'T YOU COME SAY IT TO MY FACE.
CG: I'M FED UP WITH THESE BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS.
GA: I Dont Mean To Critique Your Speech
GA: I Just Wanted To Ask You Something In Confidence
GA: About The Humans
CG: OK, WHAT IS IT?
GA: Are You Sure Theyre Responsible For Our Misfortune
CG: YES. THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
GA: Was It On Account Of Malice Or Incompetence
CG: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BOTH?
CG: WHY DOES IT MATTER.
GA: It Sort Of Does
GA: Im Not Even That Sure Why
GA: This Is A Difficult Topic For Me To Broach
GA: For Reasons That You Probably Wont Understand
CG: GOD DAMMIT.
CG: NO MORE MYSTERIES, PLEASE.
CG: YOU'D THINK WE'D HAD OUR FILL OF THEM BY NOW.
CG: IF I HAVE TO SOLVE ONE MORE RIDDLE, I'M GOING TO...
CG: I DON'T KNOW.
GA: Will Your Response Involve An Athletic Maneuver Of Some Sort
CG: NO
CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT.
CG: I WILL JUST GO OVER THERE AND WEEP GENTLY IN THE HORN PILE.
CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
GA: Um
CG: WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS
CG: THEY ARE ALL LUDICROUSLY INCOMPETENT.
CG: SOFT, PINK FRAGILE THINGS WHO DO NOTHING BUT WASTE TIME.
CG: THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE HORNS!
GA: What
GA: Really
CG: YEAH, I WAS LIKE, WHOA DID THEY GET FILED DOWN OR SOMETHING
CG: BUT NO IT TURNS OUT THAT'S JUST HOW THEY ARE.
GA: Weird
CG: THEY'RE A MISERABLE POINTLESS CROP OF LIFEFORMS FROM A MEANINGLESS BORING PUSTULE OF A PLANET.
CG: IT'S INFURIATING THEY WERE SOMEHOW ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY INFLUENCE OVER US.
GA: It Is Pretty Disheartening
GA: But
GA: You Are Absolutely Sure They Are All Failures
GA: And That They Have No Chance Of Succeeding
CG: YEP.
CG: IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE.
GA: Im Not Sure Which Depresses Me More
GA: The Sabotage Of Our Session Or The Futility Of Theirs
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
CG: YOU'RE BEING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT THIS.
GA: Well I Havent Asked What I Wanted To Ask
CG: THEN ASK!!!
GA: Its About TentacleTherapist
CG: YEAH. THAT'S THE ROSE HUMAN.
CG: SHE'S APPARENTLY PRETTY SARCASTIC.
CG: IT'S IN MY NOTES.
GA: You Have Notes On Them
CG: YES.
GA: I Guess
GA: Thats Why Youre Our Leader Karkat
CG: NO, I'M YOUR LEADER BECAUSE OF MY INCREDIBLE TACTICAL SKILLS AND MY ABILITY TO MOBILIZE AND MOTIVATE A BUNCH OF USELESS PEOPLE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL, AND BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY AMBITIOUS AND INTREPID. ALSO BECAUSE LEADERSHIP IS IN MY BLOOD. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
GA: Statements Like That Are Also Why Youre Our Leader
CG: OK, I'LL ACCEPT THAT.
GA: Have You Talked To Her
CG: WHO
GA: The Rose Human
GA: Also
GA: Do We Really Have To Say Things Like The Rose Human
CG: OF COURSE WE DO.
CG: IT SOUNDS SUITABLY DISDAINFUL.
CG: I MEAN, IF A BUNCH OF ALIENS STARTED HASSLING YOU, YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO ACT REALLY HIGH AND MIGHTY, AND SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY, RIGHT?.
CG: WHICH WE ARE, OF COURSE.
GA: Uh Okay
CG: AND NO, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER.
CG: I WILL PROBABLY STEER CLEAR OF HER FOR THE MOST PART.
CG: I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON THE JOHN HUMAN, AND PROBABLY ALSO THE JADE HUMAN, SHE'S A HUGE CULPRIT TOO.
GA: It Just
GA: Feels Really Silly When We Say Things Like The John Human In Confidence Amongst Ourselves
CG: WE HAVE TO COMMIT TO THIS. STAY IN CHARACTER, YOU KNOW?
CG: REMEMBER THE SPEECH.
GA: The Speech Has Become Emblazoned On My Think Pan
GA: Virtually Ensconced In The Fold Of My Personal Mythology
CG: DID YOU WANT TO TROLL HER? ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING?
CG: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE GREAT, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
GA: I Dont Know
GA: Im Not Sure If Ive Got It In Me Right Now
CG: COME ON. YOU'LL BE GREAT AT IT.
CG: PLEASE JUST DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME. WE'VE GOT TO STAY COORDINATED ON THIS.
CG: TOO MANY OF THESE FUCKS ARE GOING ROGUE.
CG: LIKE WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING.
GA: Fine
CG: GREAT! THANKS KANAYA.
CG: I'LL EXPECT A FULL REPORT SOON.
GA: A Report About What
CG: LIKE
CG: HOW HASSLED YOU GOT HER TO BE
CG: BUT LESS STUPID SOUNDING THAN THAT.
GA: Is There A Metric For That Concept
CG: NO
CG: WELL THERE COULD BE
CG: WE CAN GAUGE YOUR RESULTS WITH THE "FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER".
GA: That Seems Just As Disparaging To Me As It Is To Her
CG: YEAH WELL
CG: USE IT AS MOTIVATION
CG: I GOTTA GET CRACKING HERE, LATER.