TAVROSPRITE: oHHHHHH,
TAVROSPRITE: sNAP,!
VRISKA: ::::)
TAVROSPRITE: aHAHA, bUT YEAH, i AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENT LARGELY,
TAVROSPRITE: oF YOU BEING MORE COMPETENT, tHAN MOST PEOPLE IN GENERAL, vRISKA,
VRISKA: Thanks, Tavros!
TAVROSPRITE: }:)
KARKAT: HEY, LOOK
KARKAT: I KNOW I'M NOT CONSIDERED "IMPORTANT" ENOUGH TO BE "IN THE LOOP" ON CERTAIN KEY TACTICAL DECISIONS ANYMORE
KARKAT: AND THAT I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON MOST OF THE TIME AND THEREFORE AM FORCED TO TAKE ANY BULLSHIT THAT HAPPENS WITH A GRAIN OF SNACK MINERAL BIG ENOUGH TO BLUDGEON A MAN TO DEATH
KARKAT: BUT IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE VRISKA, MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE A MOMENT TO EXPLAIN WHY TAVROS IS NOW A SPRITE?!
KARKAT: AND EQUIUS TOO, AND ALSO, WHY EQUIUS IS WEARING A NEW PAIR OF MORONIC LOOKING SUNGLASSES.
KARKAT: THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!
VRISKA: Sorry if you're having trou8le keeping up with the times, Karkat.
VRISKA: I didn't explain it 8ecause I thought the nature of the development was fairly self evident?
VRISKA: I mean, no offense, 8ut I didn't hear anyone else voicing any confusion.
VRISKA: What a8out you, Kanaya. Did you think it was fairly self evident?
KANAYA: I Thought It Was Fairly Self Evident
VRISKA: Yeah. See????????
KANAYA: You Apparently Took It Upon Yourself To Prototype The Three Year Old Cadavers Of Two Of Our Deceased Friends
KARKAT: NO, I GOT THAT!
KARKAT: I'M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.
KARKAT: I MEAN, WHERE DID YOU FIND THESE UNPROTOTYPED KERNELS? DIDN'T THESE PEOPLE ALREADY ENTER THEIR SESSION?
VRISKA: Yes, they did MONTHS ago, from the current frame of reference. 8ut this is a VOID session, Karkat.
VRISKA: I thought we talked a8out this?
KARKAT: ??????
VRISKA: A void session 8y definition is one where the players enter the game with the kernels unprototyped.
VRISKA: As such, it 8ecomes totally dysfunctional. It can't 8ear fruit, 8ecause there's no 8attlefield in Skaia, unless you go to the trou8le of putting one there of course.
VRISKA: Which the Condesce has already done for us! Via "Grim8ark Jade", prior to our arrival. Quite consider8te of her, really.
VRISKA: This is aside from the point though. The 8ottom line is, this session comes courtesy with four unprototyped kernels, waiting to 8e put to use.
VRISKA: So, not 8eing one to let a sweet perk go to waste, I took initi8tive and put two of them to use myself.
VRISKA: Really, this is some 8asic stuff, and I'm SURE we went over it all at one point during our trip.
ROSE: We did.
ROSE: Karkat, don't you remember when I walked everyone through this?
ROSE: I was making extensive notes in my journal. When I looked away for a moment, you and Dave wrested the tome away, and began scribbling phalluses in it while giggling like children.
KARKAT: UM, MAYBE?!
KARKAT: I GUESS THAT RINGS A DONG SHOUTER.
DAVE: (a what? dude lmao)
KARKAT: (WHAT? SHUT UP.)
KARKAT: LOOK, A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN THREE YEARS. WE'VE ALL BEEN THROUGH... STUFF.
KARKAT: AM I REALLY EXPECTED TO REMEMBER EVERY TEDIOUS MORSEL OF EXPOSITION FROM OUR RESIDENT LIGHT-BORES?
VRISKA: Rose, get a load of this ungr8teful philistine! He doesn't deserve our fucking acumen.
VRISKA: 8etween your nerdish o8session over the knowledge granted 8y our aspect, and my unprecedented a8ility to weaponize said knowledge with ruthless gamesmanship, we are dou8le-handedly saving the asses of everyone on this team.
ROSE: I'm glad at least one person here appreciates this categorical certainty.
KANAYA: (Hey I Appreciate That Categorical Certainty!)
ROSE: (Whom do you think I was referring to?) ;)
KARKAT: WOW OK, WHAT THE FUCK EVER TO THAT VAINGLORIOUS LOAD OF CRAP.
KARKAT: I'M STILL SPOUTING OFF HERE!
KARKAT: I THINK
VRISKA: That's fine, Karkat!
VRISKA: Take all the time you need to collect yourself, and continue frothing at the mouth whenever you're ready.
KARKAT: OK, I FIGURED OUT SOME STUFF I'M STILL EITHER PISSED OFF AND/OR CONFUSED ABOUT.
KARKAT: YOU SAY THERE ARE FOUR KERNELS HERE...
KARKAT: YOU KNOW, WE *DID* LOSE MORE THAN TWO FRIENDS ON THAT METEOR.
KARKAT: WHICH REMINDS ME, I GUESS I SHOULD SAY... HI TAVROS AND EQUIUS, AGAIN??? NICE TO SEE YOU GUYS BACK WITH US, SORT OF.
KARKAT: PARDON ME IF I CAN'T GET TOO SENTIMENTAL ABOUT THE REUNION, SINCE ALONG THE WAY HERE, WE RAN INTO ABOUT TEN DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF YOUR STUPID GHOSTS.
KARKAT: THAT KIND OF LETS A LITTLE AIR OUT OF THE POIGNANCY BALLOON, SORRY!
TAVROSPRITE: hEY BUDDY, };)
KARKAT: DON'T WINK AT ME
ARQUIUSPRITE: Greetings old friend
ARQUIUSPRITE: Not to worry, I have stored enough poignancy in my heaving, balloon-like pectorals for the both of us
ARQUIUSPRITE: Though I should clarify that appro%imately half of my personally couldn't give the faintest fidgeting horse dump about you or your sentimental notions
ARQUIUSPRITE: Also I am very busy here, so stop talking to me completely
VRISKA: Hahahaha!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: Oh man. Classic.
DAVE: haha...ha
KARKAT: OK, THAT WAS WEIRD?
DAVE: (um... yeah)
KARKAT: AND SPEAKING OF WEIRD, ONE THING THAT BUGS ME ABOUT THIS IS...
KARKAT: I GUESS IT IMPLIES YOU'VE BEEN HORDING THE BODIES OF OUR DEAD FRIENDS FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS?!
KARKAT: THAT'S A BIT FUCKED UP! EVEN FOR YOU.
KARKAT: AND NOT TO GET TOO MACABRE, BUT I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THEY WOULD HAVE LIKE, ROTTED BY NOW OR SOMETHING.
VRISKA: Yes, there was some moder8te decomposition.
VRISKA: I did my 8est to preserve them for the journey, after quickly rounding up the 8odies while people had their 8acks turned.
KARKAT: WELL SHIT
KARKAT: THAT'S A HELL OF A MYSTERY, THAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS A MYSTERY, BUT FOUND IT TOO DISTURBING TO CONTEMPLATE SOLVING
KARKAT: BUT DAMN IF IT DIDN'T JUST GET SOLVED, SO THAT'S FUCKED UP.
VRISKA: If you would stop 8eing a wuss for a half second a8out a 8unch of corpses, I'll explain my reasoning.
VRISKA: These are the only two sprites I had any intention of using for resurrection purposes.
VRISKA: I 8rought Tavros 8ack, 8ecause let's face it, that was kind of my fault, for unnecessarily impaling him with his own lance and all.
VRISKA: It was my responsi8ility to make amends for that! So I did.
TAVROSPRITE: aWWWWWWWWWWWWW, yEEAAAA-
VRISKA: Tavros, don't interrupt.
TAVROSPRITE: wHOOPS,
VRISKA: Then, I made Arquiusprite happen 8ecause, first of all, he's a national fucking treasure.
VRISKA: Literally everything he says is perfect and hilarious, and if I hear a single word to the contrary from the peanut gallery, the motherfucker with a 8eef rockets to the top of my shit list. So please, I enthusiastically invite one of you no-taste mouth 8reathers to talk smack a8out the A-man. Make my day!
DAVE: vris yo nobodys arguing with you on that everybody here thinks hes pretty cool
ARQUIUSPRITE:
DAVE: like just enough freakshow steps removed from being my bro i guess enough to make me not feel like-
VRISKA: Dave, don't interrupt either.
VRISKA: No8ody's allowed to interrupt me when I'm talking up Arquiusprite! That's the rule.
TAVROSPRITE: (owNeD!) (woW, oWned,)
DAVE: (oh stfu)
VRISKA: SECOND, the guy is a fucking tactical genius.
VRISKA: Totally conniving and calcul8ting, and unafraid to use methods that are just a 8IT morally du8ious to achieve his o8jectives.
VRISKA: And since I can't stick around for too long, your party is going to need someone like that.
VRISKA: 8esides, it seems like a really fitting f8 for Equius. He genuinely seems to 8e more comforta8le with this st8 of existence, and seems a lot happier than I ever remem8er him 8eing when he was alive.
VRISKA: So I'm perfectly willing to do him this solid. After all, he did help me out when I 8lew my arm off. So now we're square!
ARQUIUSPRITE: You mean triangular
VRISKA: What?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Triangular
VRISKA: I don't...
ARQUIUSPRITE: It's the shape of my clop glasses
VRISKA: Oh.
VRISKA: OH!
VRISKA: Ahahahaha! See what I mean, guys??
VRISKA: He's a fucking riot!
ARQUIUSPRITE: Agreed
ARQUIUSPRITE: Thank you for the STRONG endhorsement, lowblood slash person I've never heard of and don't care about
VRISKA: HAHAHAHA!
ARQUIUSPRITE: I'll be finished my work here momentarily
JAKE: Excuse me...
JAKE: Mister arquius?
JAKE: What exactly are you... doing to her?
ARQUIUSPRITE: I am disabling her tiara top
ARQUIUSPRITE: It is e%tremely delicate work, not to be trusted to human hooves
VRISKA: Yes.
VRISKA: I've also decided it's imper8tive to reclaim Crocker from the Condesce 8efore she can wake up and cause more trou8le.
VRISKA: Her powers will 8e incredi8ly advantageous to winning the 8attle ahead. If you can keep her out of harm's way, in addition to providing her general purpose resor8tive capa8ilities, she also represents one extra life for every8ody.
VRISKA: And since heroic deaths could 8e getting handed out like inexpensive to8acco flutes pretty soon, I'm guessing this 8oon is gonna come in handy!