JADE: remember how you told me how karkat kept sort of trying to set you up with rose?
JOHN: yes.
JADE: you told me this on more than one occasion if i recall!
JOHN: what is your point!
JADE: well, i have kind of wondered to myself if you kept bringing that up because on some level you wanted that to be true...
JOHN: oh man.
JOHN: jade, listen.
JOHN: at this point i could not give less of a rat's ass about romancey stuff!
JOHN: i would rather just play some games, and chill out for several years on this magical flying boat. is that too much to ask?
JADE: not at all! that is perfectly fine
JOHN: when i catch up with our buddies, i'm sure i will give rose a nice, FRIENDLY hug.
JADE: aww
JOHN: whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs.
JADE: heheheheh
JOHN: but that is IT.
JOHN: it's all very complicated and bothersome, jade.
JADE: what?
JOHN: you know. matters of the heart.
JADE: *snicker*
JOHN: ok, you may laugh at my choice of words, but it is true.
JOHN: it's really befuddling and distracting when you are on a major quest to make universes out of frogs. who even needs it?
JADE: i guess you have a point
JOHN: like...
JOHN: you remember that troll girl who was sort of into me?
JADE: mm hm
JOHN: well, ok.
JOHN: that seemed like a pretty big deal at the time!
JOHN: it really seemed like she liked me, but also, she was *probably* insane?
JOHN: like, i mean, in a trollish, murderous kind of way.
JADE: yikes
JOHN: but craziness notwithstanding, i didn't really know what to think.
JOHN: i guess i thought she was cool at the time. i was honestly kind of flummoxed about it.
JOHN: but the point is, when all was said and done, that was just some stuff that happened over one day, which was a whole year ago already.
JOHN: i barely even remember what we talked about. by the time we meet up, she probably won't give a shit about me at all.
JOHN: which, let's face it, is probably for the best.
JADE: .....
JOHN: i think we make things more meaningful in our head when they're happening than they really are. like realistically? there were probably a lot of things that went on that day that didn't mean that much.
JOHN: like remember how you said you thought karkat was getting this silly angry crush on you?
JADE: that was just my hunch
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: i mean, do you really think after three years he is still going to have the rage hots for you?
JADE: i sincerely doubt it
JADE: at least
JADE: i hope not ._.
JOHN: i don't think even he is that crazy.
JOHN: anyway, my point is, who even cares about all that?
JOHN: romance and dating are dumb and boring. we are legendary heroes, and we have bigger fish to fry. like that smug fatass over there on the horizon.
JOHN: he sure looks pleased with himself. just look at him, he thinks he is the undisputed king of that mountain or something.
JADE: that is so outrageous
JOHN: follow me so we can seize the high ground against this hideous ocean dwelling marshmallow man, and steal all of his treasure.
JADE: after you!