ROSE: You would find it less disconcerting if the players were alternate versions of us?
DAVE: man
DAVE: at least im used to dealing with alt daves
DAVE: ive been fuck deep in alt daves before
DAVE: its a goddamn delight if you want to know the truth
DAVE: but i dont even know what to think about...
ROSE: What?
ROSE: Meeting a deceased figure of authority as a peer?
DAVE: lets not even talk about it ok
DAVE: can we slow down this meteor
DAVE: delay the meetup
DAVE: maybe fight jack for a little while
ROSE: I honestly thought you would find the idea exciting.
ROSE: I know I'm looking forward to it.
DAVE: but your mom was just a nice alcoholic spinster who liked wizards who you complained about for no reason
DAVE: she wasnt anything like an untouchable master of irony who could replace the meat in your sandwich before it even occurred to you what the fuck you were chewing
DAVE: let me ask you this did your mom ever wiggle a puppet in your face even ONCE
ROSE: Not that I recall.
ROSE: But anecdotes like that just make me more curious to meet him, personally.
DAVE: fine well you can be on bro duty then
DAVE: ill be the ambassador to your mom
DAVE: and no that wasnt actually meant as the sick burn it sounded like
ROSE: She's your mom too, though.
DAVE: yeah i know
DAVE: ill be the ambassador to my mom then
DAVE: that sounds pretty stupid when i say it that way
DAVE: whatever
DAVE: ill be the fuckin one man welcome wagon for the john and jade teen old people and also our mom thats the plan
DAVE: so when we finally see them we can get our shit into formation like trained acrobats
DAVE: like ill blow a whistle and we make a human pyramid got it
DAVE: that way we can totally avoid anything awkward
ROSE: You do realize we've seen her already, right?
DAVE: what
DAVE: when
ROSE: Months ago.
ROSE: In a dream.
ROSE: She was floating along in Derse pajamas, asleep.
DAVE: wait that was her
ROSE: Yes.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: huh
DAVE: .....
ROSE: You're wondering why I didn't tell you?
DAVE: no
ROSE: You're specifically wondering why I wasn't forthcoming with an answer to your question at the time, "hey who was that choice babe in the pajamas?"
DAVE: god fucking dammit
ROSE: You don't find it nostalgic at all?
ROSE: Retracing the steps of some of our Freudian semi-blunders in conversations past?
DAVE: no what a load of shit
DAVE: stuff said between you and me before we knew we were related
DAVE: we both know that was a lot of horseplay bullfuckery between like smartass 10 year olds or whatever
DAVE: you cant seriously have taken any of that seriously
ROSE: ;)
DAVE: ugh dont ever do that
DAVE: all these fuckin
DAVE: momtraps and sistertraps
DAVE: what a joke i hope skaia gets to have a good laugh over shit like this
DAVE: wait i forgot skaia doesnt laugh it just "sees" and "knows"
DAVE: its like a huge blue perv thats mad jazzed for kidcest
KANAYA: What Are You People Even Talking About
ROSE: ;)
DAVE: dont you wink at her
DAVE: kanaya heres a protip that wink meant jack dick shes just being weird
KANAYA: I Feel As Though This Conversation Has Utterly Outmaneuvered My Constructive Involvement
KANAYA: Im Going To Go
DAVE: yeah im pretty much ollying outie too
DAVE: got some shit to attend to
DAVE: after you