ARQUIUSPRITE: E%cuse me, you there ARQUIUSPRITE: Unsavory concoction of royalty and peasantry ARQUIUSPRITE: Come grope my humongous biceps ERISOLSPRITE: no bloody wway. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes, do it ERISOLSPRITE: equiiu2 wwhy are you actiin liike 2uch a bulge2niiffiin twwolbox wwhat the hell happened twwo you? ERISOLSPRITE: and wwhy are you wweariin that guy2 lame gla22e2. take tho2e off evven you had more 2tyle than that. ARQUIUSPRITE: Alright, no takers there I see. Only a pair of grotesque philistines blustering through the same coarse ignorance tunnel ARQUIUSPRITE: What about you, miss unpalatable combination of Feferi and ARQUIUSPRITE: And ARQUIUSPRITE: Oh ARQUIUSPRITE: Oh no ERISOLSPRITE: wwhat. FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38o ARQUIUSPRITE: Dirk ARQUIUSPRITE: Dirk, help, I'm having a problem DIRK: What?? ARQUIUSPRITE: A part of me is having a very STRONG emotional reaction which I don't like ARQUIUSPRITE: It's a part of myself I'm ashamed of DIRK: What part. ARQUIUSPRITE: The troll part. It did something shameful once ARQUIUSPRITE: I do not find such emotions to be an acceptable feature of my new e%istence ARQUIUSPRITE: How can I make this feeling go away ARQUIUSPRITE: Dirk, I command you to instruct me how to eliminate these emotions DIRK: Can't help you bro! DIRK: This is what you asked for. You said you were scared to not exist. DIRK: Well, this is what it's like to keep on existing. Better figure out how to deal! ARQUIUSPRITE: No. That's awful ARQUIUSPRITE: I don't know what to do ARQUIUSPRITE: With all of my astounding STRENGTH, both muscular and cerebral, how can I be stymied so? ARQUIUSPRITE: Dying was better than having to live with the shame which was ironically caused by the very death in question ERISOLSPRITE: equiiu2 wwhat the FUCK are you talkiing about. ARQUIUSPRITE: You, seadwelling mustard b100d ARQUIUSPRITE: Half of me commands the peasant half of you to resolve my emotional turmoil, while humbly requesting the noble half of you to do the same ARQUIUSPRITE: The other half of me doesn't give a flying hoot about your lame caste bull and is just kind of freaking out internally about this ERISOLSPRITE: ehehehe wwoww zahhak you miight actually be more a me22 than me, ii am fuckiin iimpre22ed. ERISOLSPRITE: but yeah talkiin iit out wwhen you got aiim2 a reconciiliiatiion help2, me and the feferii 2iide a thii2 abomiinatiion had a niice talk earliier, 2orta. ERISOLSPRITE: 2ay wwhat you got twwo 2ay, ju2t dont me22 wwiith the feferii part2 twwo much ok man? 2he2 vvery dear to me, ii mean both part2 a me got iit? ARQUIUSPRITE: You're right, I must speak to her ARQUIUSPRITE: Nepeta, I swore that I would protect you, but I failed ARQUIUSPRITE: In a moment of weakness my reverence for a superior got the better of me, and instead of standing up for you I decided to bow before a stupid juggalo or something? What? ARQUIUSPRITE: Wait, I actually did that? What the fresh nickering is WRONG with me? FEFETASPRITE: 38(( < 38\ ARQUIUSPRITE: I am not a perfect man, Nepeta. Nor am I "purrfect" as you might say. What the fudge? A cat pun? Let's pull our together dude, this emotional state is mad abysmal ARQUIUSPRITE: But in any case, I hope you can find it within your kind olive pump biscuit to... forgive... ARQUIUSPRITE: NO! ARQUIUSPRITE: GOSH DANGIT! I don't deserve to be forgiven, what am I saying! The I pulled on you was so bad... I just can't even... ERISOLSPRITE: hey can you maybe wwrap up thii2 p2ychotiic apology you wwretched freak. wwoww youre actually makiin me look liike the model a mental health. ERISOLSPRITE: anywway youre confu2iin the feferii 2iide of her wwiith your wweiird emotiional baggage. ARQUIUSPRITE: Allow me to finish, sir/peon ERISOLSPRITE: feferii try not twwo lii2ten twwo anythiin he 2ay2. ERISOLSPRITE: youvve had enough heartache twwo endure wwiithout lumpiing iin nepeta2 twwii2ted relatiion2hiip wwiith thii2 hor2ekii22iin mu2clefuck. ARQUIUSPRITE: Nepeta, you will disregard any conversation directed at Feferi and focus solely on my attempted statements of contrition ERISOLSPRITE: man wwhat riight do you havve to order nepeta to do ANYTHIN, let alone lii2ten to your confliicted wwhiiniing? ERISOLSPRITE: heheh, fef can you BELIIEVVE thii2 guy?? ARQUIUSPRITE: Do not address Feferi while I'm talking Nepeta ARQUIUSPRITE: It's confusing to Nepeta, who is critical in absolving me of guilt, even though I probably don't deserve it? ERISOLSPRITE: fuck your ab2olutiion ii take back my advviice. ERISOLSPRITE: 2top talkiin twwo nepeta and LEAVVE FEFERII ALONE. ARQUIUSPRITE: No ERISOLSPRITE: ye2. ARQUIUSPRITE: No ERISOLSPRITE: ye2. ARQUIUSPRITE: No ERISOLSPRITE: augh im not doin your dumba22 ye2/no 2hit!! ARQUIUSPRITE: Then leave us, for I and my morail have much to discuss ERISOLSPRITE: no you fliippiin DONT, thii2 conver2atiion ii2 over. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes I do ERISOLSPRITE: no you dont. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes ERISOLSPRITE: no. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes ERISOLSPRITE: NO. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes ERISOLSPRITE: NO THII2 HA2 TWWO 2TOP!! CANT YOU 2EE WWERE TEARIIN FEFETA APART??
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.