|AUTHORLOG|
KEYS? What? HE PUKED UP SOME KEYS. That's weird. What kind of keys? JUST SOME REGULAR LOOKING KEYS. WITH SOME KIND OF CLOWNY KEY RING. Hmm. Do you think they might work on this tower? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME? HOW COULD THIS BE SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW. Don't be that way. I'm just thinking out loud here. SO YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS WRETCHED FOOL SWALLOWED SOME KEYS. INTENDING TO LATER REGURGITATE THEM IN FRONT OF ME. PROBABLY AS ANOTHER "PRESENT". He's kind of like a loyal pet, isn't he? Dragging ridiculous stuff into the house as gifts for his master. Barfing up disgusting things on the carpet and beaming with pride over his generous offering. Isn't that what you want from a devoted minion/mentor? DID YOU. OR DID YOU NOT. KNOW HE HAD THESE KEYS. Nope. I'm just as surprised as you. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. Hey, I told you. I have no idea what that clown gets up to in his spare time. I'm not even really sure how he got here, to be honest. Maybe he stowed away in a shitty Liberty? Or maybe he was just hiding in one of the ventshafts on your meteor when you entered? He had YEARS of practice to master that move, now that I think about it. SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP! HOW CAN EVERYTHING YOU SAY BE SO USELESS. Why don't you quit bitching at me and try out those keys?
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.