|DIALOGLOG|
KARKAT: OK, LOOK I'M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR PRECIOUS STUPID CAPE. JUST LISTEN. KARKAT: BEFORE YOU GO OFF TO SNOG TEREZI IN YOUR IDIOTIC LITTLE VILLAGE OF NUTRITION CYLINDERS, HEAR ME OUT. DAVE: man DAVE: you are so overblowing this KARKAT: BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I AM! DAVE: yeah you are DAVE: you have some idea about us or what were getting up to DAVE: so weve done a few things together to pass the time so what DAVE: i dont even think you could call them dates or anything DAVE: what the fuck would even qualify as a date on this gross dark meteor KARKAT: DAVE, CAN WE JUST CUT THE SHIT? KARKAT: I AM NOT AN IMBECILE. YOU ARE BOTH PLAINLY TIPPING INTO FLUSHED TERRITORY IRRESPECTIVE OF ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS OR WHATEVER LAME CONDITIONS IT IS HUMANS BELIEVE TO BE OPTIMAL FOR PURSUING A MATESPRITSHIP. KARKAT: ANYONE CAN SEE THAT, IT'S THE SHITTIEST KEPT SECRET ON THIS METEOR. PROBABLY EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR GETS IT, AND LET'S FACE IT, HE'S A LITTLE SLOW. KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES? DAVE: we have one of those??? KARKAT: I HAVE SEEN THOUSANDS OF TROLL ROMANCE FILMS, EACH DEALING WITH TOPICS FAR MORE SUBTLE AND COMPLEX THAN YOUR PEDESTRIAN HUMAN MIND COULD EVER GRASP. KARKAT: AND IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, I'VE ALREADY WATCHED HUNDREDS OF YOUR MORE PRIMITIVE BUT MODERATELY ENTERTAINING ROMANCE FILMS. KARKAT: REMEMBER HOW I DOWNLOADED A FUCK TON OF THEM AFTER DISCOVERING YOUR SPECIES? I AM A CURIOUS MAN, DAVE, YOU COULD LEARN FROM ME. DAVE: yeah i remember DAVE: havent you only watched a bunch of shitty dane cook movies on infinite loop since we left KARKAT: YOU'RE SEVERELY EXAGGERATING, BUT YES I HAVE SAMPLED HIS WORK. DAVE: dude DAVE: you know youre only pretending to be a huge fan of his bullshit to piss me off KARKAT: AGAIN LOOK AT HOW SELF ABSORBED YOU'RE BEING!!! KARKAT: I HAPPEN TO THINK HE HAS A BRILLIANT COMEDIC MIND, FOR A HUMAN. DAVE: hrnngngnngghhhh DAVE: it turns out that exact sentence is my one weakness DAVE: you win bro you got your girl back KARKAT: OH SHUT UP. KARKAT: I AM NOT HERE TO DEBATE YOU ON THE FINER POINTS OF CINEMA, OR TO "GET MY GIRL BACK." KARKAT: HOW DESPERATE DO YOU THINK I AM? KARKAT: I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO DO THE OPPOSITE. KARKAT: I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M TOTALLY OK WITH IT. DAVE: oh DAVE: ok then KARKAT: BUT JUST LISTEN, AND TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. I KNOW THAT'S HARD FOR YOU. KARKAT: HERE, PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.