DAVESPRITE: i guess she left already?
DAVESPRITE: maybe there was an emergency somewhere and her doggy senses led her there
DAVESPRITE: maybe someone fell down a well
DAVESPRITE: what do you think john do you think our teen parents fell down a well
DAVESPRITE: nah i sincerely doubt that any of them would be that pathetic
DAVESPRITE: whatever it was it must have been important enough for jade to ditch us like this
DAVESPRITE: either that or
DAVESPRITE: maybe she was that desperate to finally get away from me
DAVESPRITE: between you and me john
DAVESPRITE: i didnt really handle things with her as well as i could have
DAVESPRITE: oh well maybe real dave will treat her better
DAVESPRITE: or not i dont know
DAVESPRITE: i did her a favor cutting bird dave out of her life
DAVESPRITE: nobody really deserves bird dave as a boyfriend or a friend or anything its like getting one of the janky daves from the bargain bin at the dave depot
DAVESPRITE: or one of the marked down daves the day after national dave day
DAVESPRITE: its like somebody taxedermized your dave and expected you not to notice
DAVESPRITE: "feathers what feathers haha no that dave is totally normal and ok"
DAVESPRITE: you should just go back to being bros with real dave when you see him
DAVESPRITE: ill be fine ill just flap around and do my thing alone
DAVESPRITE: im completely alright with that at this point
DAVESPRITE: we had our ups and downs john but all in all it was cool to go on this road trip with you
DAVESPRITE: there were some times man
DAVESPRITE: the times
DAVESPRITE: im telling you they were unreal
DAVESPRITE: i bet you people would pay good money to see every second of the madcap stunts that were going down on this ship basically 24/7
DAVESPRITE: if hulls could talk wow
DAVESPRITE: haha just joking it was seriously boring as hell
DAVESPRITE: but i mean it was still cool so yeah
DAVESPRITE: hey
DAVESPRITE: whats that ring anyway
DAVESPRITE: ive seen you with that ring before and i guess i was just like
DAVESPRITE: ok john has a magic ring for some reason
DAVESPRITE: no need to mention that or anything
DAVESPRITE: but where did you even get it
DAVESPRITE: you cant even hear me you got your snooze on so hard
DAVESPRITE: aint gonna wake you up to hassle you about no ring
DAVESPRITE: i probably should have said all this stuff when you were awake anyway
DAVESPRITE: like the stuff about friendship
DAVESPRITE: fuck it ill just leave another one of my patented magic notes taped to your shoe or your cowlick or something
DAVESPRITE: my magic notes rule ill miss leavin em taped on stuff