-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

EB: karkat!!!
EB: hey buddy, you were making me worried there...
EB: are you ok?
CG: WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET GLOBE TICKLING FUCK.
CG: EGBERT, I JUST GOT DONE ERUPTING A WHOLE VOLCANO OF MERCILESS FUCK YOU ON THE PRIMITIVE VILLAGE LOCATED SQUARELY ON YOUR CROTCH.
CG: ASSUMING THAT'S A SUITABLY TERRIBLE PART OF HUMAN ANATOMY FOR A VILLAGE IN JEOPARDY TO EXIST.
EB: errr...
CG: SHUT UP. HOW DARE YOU CONTACT ME WHILE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACKWARDS MARCH OF HATE THROUGH YOUR TEDIOUS TIMELINE.
EB: oh god, this is not right!
EB: you aren't supposed to hate me anymore, you're supposed to be kinda my friend, sorta!
EB: when is this?
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN IS THIS
CG: OK, LET ME JUST CHECK THE UNIVERSAL CLOCK WHICH KEEPS CONSISTENT TIME FOR ALL FRAMES OF REFERENCE AND ALL PLANES OF REALITY.
CG: IT'S HALF PAST YOU'RE A MORON.
EB: ok, duh! i know that.
EB: i mean, how many times have you talked to me before?
CG: WE JUST GOT DONE WITH OUR SECOND CONVERSATION. HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS?
EB: AUGH!
EB: this isn't good, i need to talk to future you!
CG: WHY
EB: because it sounds like you're in trouble.
EB: i think maybe you are running from jack?
CG: OF COURSE WE'RE RUNNING FROM JACK, I JUST GOT DONE FUCKING TELLING YOU THAT.
EB: no, i know, but...
EB: *SIGN*
CG: I GUESS MY FUTURE CONVERSATIONS WILL INSTIGATE SOME MISGUIDED NEED FOR YOU TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME LATER ON.
CG: WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO HERE.
CG: I SWEAR, IT NEVER ENDS WITH THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE SHIT. EVEN AFTER THE GAME IS OVER.
CG: EVEN AFTER YOU LOSE IT! HOW UNFAIR IS THAT.
EB: ultimate riddle shit?
CG: I CAN TELL THIS CONVERSATION IS GOING TO BE A UTTER FUCKING JOY TO PARTICIPATE IN.
CG: I HONESTLY ENVY ANYONE IN THE POSITION OF NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH READING IT.
CG: BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT, JOHN, SO HERE WE GO.
CG: ARE YOU READY
EB: no, i just want to talk to future you. :(
CG: NO YOU DON'T
CG: TAKE IT FROM ME
CG: THE GUY IS A BASTARD.