tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: ALART ALART ARLART AL*ERT AL*ART!!!!!
TG: hugely important cornespondence
TG: paging doctor crocker
TG: rolal to docrock
GG: :?
TG: heh heh
TG: paging
TG: bet you would like to get PAGED huh jane
TG: *sweet innuendo
GG: I'm not sure that qualifies as innuendo at all.
TG: wonkwonkwonkwonkwonk
GG: I honestly think you misspell things intentionally more often than not, regardless of blood alcohol content.
GG: You just typed wonk five times in a row!
TG: i have only junst begun to wonk
GG: What is this urgent thing about, anyway?
GG: Is it about your boobytrap?
GG: Because you're too late. It already blew up my whole bedroom, thank you very much.
TG: no no
TG: i mean i still feel shitty about that but its not abiout that
TG: i know you already ran it i been talking to the shades
GG: Yes, me too. Right now in fact, and I'm in a bit of a hurry!
GG: What is this about? What are you even doing?
TG: im in the lab doing a thing with my cat
TG: but that doesnt matter i was doing some thingkin and was still feeling guilty about fuckin up ur computer and all of the sudden im in bff~ath mode here
TG: so i gotta tell you something u need to know before its too late
GG: Before what's too late?
TG: you and jake hookin up stupid!
GG: Oh my god.
TG: this is about turnin all your steamydreamz in to STEAMAY REALTITIES
TG: ***realities lolo
GG: This isn't happening now...
TG: whereins jc + je kiss & hug loads and start turnin out big heaps of wrigglers the old fashioned way<3<3,3,3<338O!!!!
TG: i cant decide whether this mental image porcolating here is hot as shit or cute as fuck......
GG: No! Cease your lascivious porcolating at once!
GG: Roxy, I can see you're set on just wasting more of my time.
GG: I understand if you don't wish to play this game, but please try not to interfere with those of us who do!
TG: no no im fine with playing just shut up
TG: this is serious you need to tell him how u feel VERY SOON
TG: or you might miss your chance
GG: My chance?
GG: What are you talking about?
TG: i found out today taht dirks gonna make a move
GG: A move? You mean, a romantic one?
TG: yes
GG: On you?
TG: omfffgggggg
TG: JANE GET A CLUE
GG: Um.
GG: On me?
TG: no
TG: no my dear sweet janey not on you
TG: ON JAKE!!!
GG: Oh.
GG: Ohhh.
GG: I didn't think...
GG: That...
GG: Hrm.
GG: Are you sure?
TG: p sure ask glasses if u want
GG: Well then.
GG: This is quite a development.
GG: Poor Dirk!
TG: what do you mean
GG: Well, surely when he reveals his feelings, Jake will...
TG: ??
GG: I mean...
GG: He couldn't possibly...
TG: wut
TG: repriprocate?
GG: Yes?
TG: why not
GG: Because Jake is not a homosexual!
TG: mm hm
TG: are u suuuuuure???
GG: Are you saying he is?
TG: nope
GG: Then what are you saying?
TG: im saying that
TG: i dont fuckin know
GG: But...
GG: I thought it reasonable to presume he takes a shining to ladies.
GG: He does speak fondly of certain females from his favorite films, does he not?
TG: true that
TG: but
TG: how much does that really mean here jane
TG: can you be totes sure on account a some dorky moive crushes
GG: Well, now I just don't know. You have me completely bamboozled about this.
GG: What do you think?
TG: all im saying is
TG: my gaydar is like the exanct fuckin poposite of urs
TG: which is to say it is better than completety nonexistant
TG: mine is so sensitive it has been used to sweep the ocean floor for mythical sea monsters
TG: turns out
TG: all of those monsters are SO gay
TG: truth B)
GG: Okay. Then what does your acute seabeast scanner make of Jake, then?
TG: thats what im sayin
TG: i really have no idea
TG: kid is a goggamn egnigma
TG: hes as hard 2 read as fine print
TG: and how i do mean FIIINE ;)
GG: Oh brother.
GG: Then, your guess is as good as mine?
GG: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to conclude from this.
TG: youre supposed to concluce
TG: that you SAID you were going to believe anything i said today remember??
GG: Yes.
GG: But you just said you don't know!!!
TG: exactly
TG: therefore you must believe me when i say
TG: if dirk lets on all his feelins there is at least a CHANCE jake will go like DERP OK DUDE LETS MAKE OUT
TG: and that means poor jane is screwed without ever even throwing her filthy old fedora in the ring
TG: it is a ring i lke ot call TEH ENGLISH SPEEPSTAKES
TG: and if u dont youll regret it
TG: and i mean
TG: OFFICIALLY?
TG: i cant have a horse in the race
TG: wait bad metaphor ebcause of dirk and his fucking horstes n/m
TG: like you are both my friends and im not out to mess him up or anything
TG: but i kinda owe it to you as my friend to let you know whats up
TG: and also to get you to stop being such a WORLD CHAMPIAN TIGHTASS
TG: and let jake know
GG: Oh, not this tightass baloney again.
TG: jane
GG: What?
TG: jaane..
GG: ...
TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass
GG: No way!
GG: We settled this, remember?
GG: My prior resolution made it definitive; I was to be regarded as exceedingly permissive in certain respects!
TG: jane i am afraid
TG: that ur bottom
TG: is a stubborn clam
TG: guarding priceless treasure
TG: and a deadly secret
GG: So ridiculous. >:P
TG: im not saying be an idiot and start gushing at him incoherentry
TG: but do SOMETHING
TG: say how u feel
TG: or flirst a bit or ask him out on a date inside the fuckin game or such
TG: goddamn ANYTHING other that a bunch of bullshitty pining and tightassy NOTHING
TG: you have to do what i say u promised
GG: I promised to BELIEVE what you say, not DO it!
TG: those 2 things are
TG: prespicely the same shit
GG: If I agree to say something, will you stop tormenting me about it??
TG: yes
TG: but only
TG: because that will be impossible for me to do
TG: when u + him r snoggin hard in motherfuckin makeout paradise
TG: A K A SEX LAND
GG: Fine.
GG: But let the record show that this resolution has almost nothing whatsoever to do with your use of the phrase "SEX LAND."
GG: Just...
GG: I need to think of what to say, and wait for the right moment. Is that ok???
TG: sure
TG: just dont wait too long
TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles
TG: nor jakes...
TG: lets say
TG: open mindedness???????
GG: Well,
GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose.
TG: yuuup................
GG: Omg.
GG: I really don't have a moment to spare, do I?
TG: ur finally gettin it
TG: now go
TG: and jane im warning u
TG: if you dont say somethin to him
TG: i am personally entering the game specivically to FUCK UR SHIT UP
TG: *LOLLIES OUTIE*
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]