GG: hmmm... GG: i have seen this before CA: howws that possible CA: its a one of a kind wweapon plundered from an alternian ghost ship GG: i am very sure its the same rifle included with johns present GG: but... GG: bigger of course CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original CA: uh CA: kind of like that one there is CA: so theres your answwer stable loops ahoy CA: noww enjoy the utter fuckin domination it affords GG: yes but.... GG: i did not provide the weapons! GG: my penpal did CA: wwhos that GG: the guy who helps me build the present GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing GG: umm yes CA: nevvermind then your procreational biologistics make my fins curl in distaste GG: oh no!!!!! GG: aaaaa please dont tell anyone i told you about him! GG: augh how could i let that slip to you of all people CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this CA: ill havve you knoww this is the last time im plannin on talkin to any human CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir CA: AND NO NOT THAT KIND OF DATE GIVVE ME A LITTLE FUCKIN CREDIT GG: wow ok!!!! GG: i wasnt going to say anything CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway GG: he didnt want me to tell my friends who he really was GG: i guess maybe he was concerned about upsetting the timeline? i dunno CA: wwell maybe he didnt wwanna disrupt wwhatevver disgustin sequence of evvents wwas responsible for his spawwnin in the first place GG: maybe! GG: i have wondered about that, assuming he is right... GG: he was so nice, and it really did feel like i was talking to family, so i really dont think he was making it up GG: i couldnt help but try to imagine his parents... GG: and more interestingly....... GG: his grandfather :O GG: i still wonder who it could be... GG: although i guess at this point GG: the options are pretty limited :o CA: ok i think im startin to feel ill talkin about things makin me fathom pink wwigglers comin out a your owwn personal torso CA: so change a fuckin subject CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be GG: do you even have those? if you dont have parents how could you? CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does GG: ewwwwwwww CA: oh shut up CA: anywway a lot of us believve wwere meant to trace the footsteps of those ancestors evven though wwe can nevver knoww em CA: and on that journey wwe can come across belongings they once had cause wwe wwere hatched to find em and finish their wwork CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway GG: hmmmm GG: then maybe that is how this heirloom should work CA: wwhat do you mean GG: well i dont want to use it! CA: aww man come on GG: so ill just dump it outside the house with the trash GG: and if it is fated to find my penpal one day then so be it! CA: god damn it CA: its like you people go out of your wway to think a howw to disrespect me GG: maybe you should have been nicer to me! GG: in any case i dont appreciate the spirit in which the gift was given so this is what i will do! CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species CA: and for the record CA: evven though i said that stuff about bein fated to find my gun CA: fate isnt real CA: its a lot of FAKE FUCKIN HORSEFEATHERS CA: noww go and be cleansed by the light of truth purity nonfakeness hope and abovve all SCIENCE
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
