-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey dave!
TG: hey
EB: wow, it's been a while since we talked, hasn't it.
TG: has it
EB: i think the last time i talked to you, i was doing exactly what im doing now...
EB: which is blasting off from my house.
EB: or was it?
EB: wow, i can't remember...
TG: man who cares
TG: i mean thats great and all
TG: but i talked to you plenty more times since that from where im standing
TG: ive got to make this quick
EB: oh.
EB: you mean like the trolls?
EB: are you using the troll time chat gizmo?
TG: fuck no fuck that trollian horseshit
TG: its just regular old time travel
TG: im from the future
EB: oh ok. is this dave sprite?
TG: no
TG: just regular ordinary dave from the fucking future nothing special dude come on
EB: well, excuse me, but i still think time travel sounds kind of special.
EB: sorry you are so jaded by awesome shit!
TG: yeah ok it is awesome but im in a hurry
EB: what is it?
TG: i need to borrow some boondollars off you
EB: boondollars? i thought they didn't do anything.
TG: no they do do something
EB: what do they do?
TG: what do you think they buy shit its fucking money
EB: what do they buy?
TG: i cant answer all these questions dude youll find out anyway its not like youll even really need your money
TG: you you might as well give it to me
EB: uh...
EB: how much do you need?
TG: all of it
EB: oh, fuck that!!!
TG: man you just said you thought it was useless why do you care
EB: but you just said it wasn't useless!
TG: ill pay you back
EB: really? when?
TG: in the future
TG: if theres one thing im not short on its the fuckin future
EB: how far in the future are you from?
EB: i thought we only had something like 24 hours until, like...
EB: game over.
TG: yeah we do
TG: but chronologically ive been around for at least triple that
EB: wow. how...
EB: i don't get how that works!
TG: no shit your deal is wind not time
TG: youre on easy street what is there even to think about with wind
TG: like what angle to blow it at to fly a damn kite or how gentle its gotta be to make a picnic go swimmingly
TG: its kiddie bullshit time is serious fucking business
TG: leave it to the pros ok
EB: but, doesn't going back in time make an alternate reality?
EB: i thought that's what happened with dave sprite, he came back to make sure i didn't die and this is a new timeline now.
TG: yeah it can work that way
TG: or not
TG: ive been very careful
TG: this whole operation is strung together with stable time loops
TG: no timeline offshoots cause thats when daves start dying and that isnt no good for nobody
EB: daves, plural?
TG: yeah
TG: there are a bunch of daves running around the timeline
EB: oh, man.
TG: but they are all me
TG: i mean they will all become me and ill become them one way or another
TG: thats how stable time loops work shit takes a lot of planning and precise choreography
TG: ive got some help though
EB: help?
EB: sounds like you have been talkin' to some trolls!
TG: yeah
EB: they seem to be getting more talkative lately.
TG: man dont even get me started with that
TG: the 24 hour span of the reckoning is like some kind of critical spike in us dealing with troll bullshit
TG: i guess its just when the most shit is going down so they figure thats the best time to mess with us
EB: yeah, that makes sense.
EB: i guess since you've lived three days in one day, you've just been hassled that much more?
TG: i dont know man they seem to flock to me
TG: ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop
TG: its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter ass famine
EB: heheh.
EB: so what is the future like?
EB: or uh, the 3x future...
EB: do we win???
TG: oh you know
TG: noirs outta control
TG: rose is crazy jades crazier and youre
TG: well youre you
TG: and together were up to our bulges and miscellaneous bullshit alien physiology in hot sloppy shenanigans while hatching plans under our feathery asses like a bunch of cage free farm fresh motherfuckers
TG: but im not about to get into specifics cause this is complicated enough as it is
TG: and if i started ranting too much about the future id start sounding like one of these smug alternian shitheads and im not about to drop that retarded science on my good bro
TG: so im staying on track here
TG: speaking of which
TG: give me your money
EB: but...
EB: i worked hard saving up that money!
EB: i have a whole boonbuck now.
TG: oh christ
TG: only one
TG: well fuck nevermind then
TG: i thought youd have more by now but thats goddamn peanuts
EB: :(
TG: i mean
TG: ill take it anyway but damn
EB: tell me what you want with it!
TG: im working the system here
TG: using time loops to manipulate the incipispheres financial sector
TG: making a goddamn killing in the lohacse
EB: lohacse?
TG: lohac stock exchange
EB: um...
EB: lohac?
TG: my planet
TG: land of heat and clockwork dude come on
TG: you know like gears and lava and shit
EB: oh, huh.
EB: that sounds unpleasant.
TG: wrong it kicks ass
EB: your unpleasant face is what kicks ass!
EB: or DOESN'T, more like.
TG: egbert stfu and give me your goddamn boonbuck j3gus fuck
TG: ill turn it into a boonmint in an hour and youll get it back ok
EB: j3gus?
EB: *narrows eyes suspiciously...*
TG: no comment
EB: i don't even know how to give it to you!
EB: they are just more weird gaming abstractions, how do we do this?
TG: you can wire it to my account
TG: ill send you the app
EB: i'm really pretty busy you know. i have to help jade!
TG: i know
TG: but this takes like two seconds
EB: bluh...
EB: fiiiiiiiine.
TG: dude
TG: dont do the vriska thing ok
TG: shes messed up we talked about this
TG: or will talk
EB: who?
TG: whatever
TG: alright app incoming
-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent ectoBiologist [EB] the file "virtualporkhollow.exe" --
TG: gotta go later

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --