DIRK: Not sure if I'm ready to accept a pat on the back for recognizing I have some problems, and worrying about whether they'll destroy me and fuck up the people I care about.
DIRK: That might be setting the bar kind of low.
DAVE: well when it comes to the subject of him
DAVE: the bars already pretty low dude
DIRK: The weird thing, honestly,
DIRK: Is that it's actually kind of refeshing to hear a sincerely leveled critique of all my negative qualities, coming from another person invested in a relationship with me, rather than from a fucked up iteration of myself as some bizarre "trollish" form of self abuse.
DIRK: The only thing I've ever been exposed to are either various forms of self loathing either from me or my auto-responder, or attitudes completely oblivious to my real issues, as expressed through my friends.
DIRK: My friends always seemed to cut me so much slack, or were just never aware of the kind of person I really was.
DIRK: Well, Jake probably is, by now at least.
DIRK: But he's also the sort of guy who's just as likely to blame himself for stuff I did, as he is to blame me.
DIRK: Jane and Roxy, though.
DIRK: Never seemed to see anything wrong with me.
DIRK: If anything, just the contrary.
DIRK: Roxy in particular had a certain... fixation.
DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.
DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.
DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.
DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger.
DIRK: And since then, I've been plagued by the insane ego of my youth in the form of an artificial intelligence I designed which essentially trapped that state of mind in a sort of horrid suspended animation.
DIRK: Until... recent developments, of course.
DAVE: was that stuff true
DAVE: when you said you idolized the other version of me
DAVE: and not just some bullshit like how i used to say the same thing about my bro when i didnt know any better
DIRK: It's definitely not like that.
DIRK: I never lived with him, or met him, so couldn't have anything like the contentious relationship you had with my older self.
DIRK: He was a historical figure from centuries ago.
DIRK: There was a lot to admire, and think about fondly.
DIRK: Especially since I was alone, and never had any direct contact with another person, or any concept of civilization.
DIRK: So even though I'm sure I romanticized what his life was like, and the early 21st century in general,
DIRK: It was nice to think about you.
DIRK: I passed a lot of time that way.