JANE: Listen carefully, prisoner. JANE: I stand to inherit a new empire very soon. JANE: When Earth has reached its final destination, it will be repopulated with a fresh brood of loyal subjects over whom I will rule absolutely. JANE: But I will not rule alone, Jake. Oh, no. I will need a husband to rule by my side. JANE: That is where you come in. JAKE: *Whimper...* JANE: You and I will be wed, and we will rule my empire together with an iron oven mitt. JANE: However, the mitt will be worn by me, and me alone. You will have no executive authority whatsoever, because you are too stupid. JANE: You will always do exactly what I say, when I say it. You will be obedient, cheerful, mostly silent, and scantily clad. Is that understood? JAKE: *Sob!* JANE: You will also provide me with children so my imperial legacy will continue, and the Crocker brand will live on in infamy. JANE: You will sire as many children as I ask for, and they will all be perfect, obedient little heirs and heiresses. JANE: You do remember our recent agreement to have "a zillion babies," don't you, Jake? I do hope you were not planning to renege on this vow. JAKE: *Sob sob sob...* JANE: Our children will rule the empire when we are gone, which of course will be never, because we will be eternally young and beautiful and immortal and in love, for ever and ever. JANE: We will travel the galaxy conquering planets and expanding my empire. No alien world will pose any resistance to our forces. JANE: Especially not once I figure out how to unlock all that incredible "Page of Hope potential" hidden away in your pathetic, hunky body. JAKE: *SOB!!!* JAKE: Please no jane dont do this! I dont want to get married or sire children or rule an empire! Im scared and sad and afraid and i dont want to do this adventure anymore and i just want to go home! JAKE: Please let me go back to earth jane! Just like it used to be! I just want to go back to my pumpkin patch in the jungle when things were simpler and all i had to worry about was being tackled by a feisty robot. I want to go back to when i didnt ruin all my friendships and when you didnt hate me and when you didnt go crazy and tell me to be your weird royal husband slave! JAKE: WAAAAAAAAAAH!!! JAKE: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO! JAKE: *Hoooornk!* DIRK: Ew, dude. DIRK: Don't blow your nose on your cape.
1) New trailer for Hiveswap! Creeping ever closer to the release of episode one. In case you weren't aware by now, What Pumpkin Studios is developing it. WP is now a gamedev studio which I happen to think is pretty cool. There have been a bunch of Kickstarter updates recently showing progress too. Here are some more links which will help you keep up with game news: Twitter | Tumblr | FB
2) Homestuck returns on April 13th! That's in just a few days. Are you ready? I doubt it, but when has that ever stopped us before. We start with Caliborn's much anticipated masterpiece, running from the 13th-15th. Then regular updates probably resuming a week after that. I haven't decided on the update schedule yet, but when I do it will almost certainly be communicated to you in the only manner which you will tolerate from me, which is more horse calendars. I am thinking of a fairly swift update schedule. A lot has piled up. Over the last month (not counting his 40 page masterpiece, which was done months ago) I have somehow drawn another 400 pages, which is possibly some sort of MSPA record. Be warned, due to that obscene page rate some of these panels are lookin pretty fast and loose! They nevertheless exist, which is usually what matters most for this website. There's still more to draw beyond that to finish off the rest of A6A6I5, which is the final "normal act". But really not too much. We're getting real close here. I will chip away at the remaining panels as I roll out this batch. Then, it's all animation work after that.
3) Paradox Space! 4/13 is the exact one year anniversary of its launch. And as HS resumes, PXS will be pausing for a good while. We actually paused production back in January, and have just been posting from a comic buffer since. This has much to do with shifting priorities heavily to gamedev needs, but I'll explain more about it and the future of PXS in a little while, on that site. But also, there'll be a PXS book coming out soon! It looks very good. Also, if you haven't checked out PXS in a while, now would be a great time, because it's going into its pause on a very strong note. It's been running an incredibly great 51 page story by Zack, Jon, and Shelby. Kudos to all of them. This has easily been one of my faves.