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I THINK I'VE BEEN FORCED TO UNLOCK THESE SCREENS. AND VIEW THESE POINTLESS EVENTS. LONG ENOUGH.
MY QUEST IS DUMB. I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET ON WITH THE REAL ADVENTURE.
Has it occurred to you that your quest in its limitless tedium and thankless busywork was designed to facilitate your personal growth?
To prepare you for your ultimate destiny beyond this game?
NO.
ANYWAY DIDN'T YOU SAY ONE TIME. I WAS INCAPABLE OF GROWING???
Oh right.
Well, has it occurred to you that it might have been designed to fuck with your head and serve as a punishment for being such a horrible little shit?
YES!!!
YES.
THAT OCCURS TO ME. EVERY SECOND I THINK ABOUT IT.
I HAVE TOLERATED MANY AGGRAVATIONS.
AND AM PREPARED TO TOLERATE MANY MORE.
IF IT GETS ME CLOSER TO TRIUMPHING OVER YOU AND THIS MORONIC GAME.
I WILL FIND MORE KEYS UNDER RANDOM ASS UNLABELED STONES.
I WILL WATCH ANOTHER MILLION HOURS OF NUMBSKULLS WHIMPERING ABOUT THEIR ROMANCE NOT COMING TRUE.
I WILL EVEN ENDURE MORE OF THESE PATENTLY LUDICROUS ACT ACT ACT ACT ACT ACTS EVEN THOUGH THEY APPEAR TO MEAN NOTHING AT ALL.
BUT WHAT I WILL NOT STAND FOR.
IS GOING.
FUCKING.
BACKWARDS!!!
Fair enough.
But I already told you how to accelerate your viewing.
WHAT? WHEN.
See those two panes of glass there?
Take your crowbar and smash them.
OH. YEAH.
UGH. I FORGOT.
IS THAT REALLY THE ONLY WAY. TO GO TO WHAT'S NEXT.
SO THAT I CAN PUT MY PLANS IN MOTION?
Yes.
You should be pleased by the irony.
Smashing the glass will cause you to reflect upon a lifetime you have yet to spend...
Um.
Breaking stuff.
???
Is the irony not fucking delicious?
NO.
STOP TRYING TO BOGART MY SCHTICK. OF PLAYING INSIDIOUS MIND GAMES AND DOING SHITTY TWISTS.
YOU SUCK AT IT SO BAD.
I'm sorry.
IT'S NOT BREAKING THE GLASS I MIND.
THIS IS THE THING THAT INVOLVES.
*SHUDDER*
"TEAM WORK"
RIGHT?
Yes.
You and a buddy have to turn both keys simultaneously.
It will teach you a wonderful lesson about life.
FUCK!
Don't act like you aren't secretly having a great time there with your new friends.
You are practically the ringmaster of your own little dark carnival by now.
And you're loving every minute of it. Don't deny it.
NO I'M NOT!
Sooner or later you will have to face the fact that literally all adventures are about learning the value of teamwork.
Teamwork and friendship. The two razor sharp edges of the mighty excalibur which EVERY hero should keep in his scabbard.
Even shitty heroes like you.
FINE. I'LL DO IT.
BUT ONLY BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE. WHERE I TALK TO YOU. FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND.
WOULD BE SO MUCH WORSE.
-- The narrative prompt has been locked. --

> Caliborn: Break glass.


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 1 Feb 2016 by Andrew

I believe I mentioned I would provide a status update in a month, and it's been about a month, so here is an update. If the question is whether I'm still on track for a 4/13 finish, the answer I think is "probably". The remaining content is a scattered array of regular panels and animated content, but I think I can boil it down to the two heaviest individual "projects" which comprise most of the effort needed to finish. Those are End of Act 6, and Act 7. So to give you a better sense of where I am, I will track the progress of those two things as a percentage of completion.

EOA6 - 30%
A7 - 100%

I will update these numbers in another month. Hopefully they will both be higher, instead of lower.

SHOUT OUT ZONE BELOW

Welcome to the shout out zone, here are a couple of shout outs. The first shout out is,

NEO-KOSMOS: A comic by my friend Shelby (who did all Calliope art for HS), and her friends Amber (works on Steven Universe) and Adrienne (also does a lot for HS). They've been working really nicely with the MSPA format. It's a quick read to catch up, and it really feels like the story has been taking off lately. I'd recommend you at least read up to a very cool animation they just posted (which includes a song by Toby). If you're looking for a fun story to follow over the next few months while you wait for HS, I think this is a good pick!

The next shout out is UNDERTALE, by my friend Toby. I know I mentioned it on the KS update but it probably bears repeating here too. Also I guess it's not so much a "signal boost" since by now UT is PRETTY WELL KNOWN! Let's get real, Toby is probably the one who should be giving HS shout outs from now on. Though it's not about giving UT a boost in popularity so much as a reminder that I believe he has made a fun and special game, and if you haven't gotten around to playing it yet, I think you should! It's an experience that anyone who likes games should have.

Ok, see you in another month. Bye.

Posted on 25 December 2015 by Andrew

As promised, here is your end of year news update. On Christmas no less! Must be a miracle. My apologies for having wasted your Christmas miracle on something so pedestrian as new web content.

Anyway, about that content. Got a couple STATUS UPDATES to report.

First, here's an update on Hiveswap. Long story short: there was a bit of a pause while we shifted gears on the production, but all the new stuff is looking fantastic. Take a look and see for yourself! You will not disagree.

Second, Homestuck. Remember that? Me neither. Um, ha ha, just kidding, it's all I think about ever. Anyway, I've been juggling work between this and Hiveswap pretty furiously. But I've been making progress on the ending. I would like to shoot for 4/13 of next year to have it wrapped up. Given everything I have to do, this might actually be a tight squeeze! But I'll do my best. It will conclude with Act 7, and some preceding material including EOA6 will lead up to it. It's a lot of content. I'm getting uncomfortably close to reaching a half hour of projected new animation footage. (No, not all in one animation, don't worry. Spread out across several.) Will it all be ready in time for the 7 year anniversary of Homestuck? We'll just have to wait and see.

I'll give you another update on the status before then though. Why don't we say... another month? Sounds good to me, see you then.

Posted on 9 November 2015 by Andrew

If you haven't seen yet, the winners for the WLF shirt design contest were announced a little while ago. Lot of great designs this year! Thanks a bunch to everyone who participated.

Posted on 30 September 2015 by Andrew





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