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[A6I4] ==>

SO MY GOAL IS. TO BURROW FUCK DEEP INTO THE CENTER OF EARTH.
UNLOCK HIS DOOR.
AND THEN DESTROY HIM.
Sort of.
You can fight him then and there if you want. But that won't do you much good. And not just because he'd probably kill you instantly.
You're better off listening to him.
WHY.
Because he will make you an offer.
By which I mean he will give you The Choice.
THE CHOICE TO DO WHAT.
I won't tell you that.
FUCK. NO.
YOU WERE ON SUCH A ROLL. OF NOT BEING SHITTY.
It's just a very important decision you will have to take into consideration once you hear it. Something unique to you and your journey.
Basically, if you accept his terms, your real adventure will begin. Your true planet will be unlocked, and a whole lot of other crazy shit will happen. It's best not to get bogged down in the details though.
The bottom line is, by accepting, you will begin the most difficult game session anyone has ever attempted.
WHAT.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
WHY DO I GET SUCH A RAW DEAL.
Because you are being punished.
FOR WHAT.
For your hubris in embarking on a one player session.
That's against the rules.
WHAT RULES. WHERE ARE THESE RULES WRITTEN.
They aren't written anywhere. They're just the rules.
Are the rules you and your sister followed written anywhere?
NO.
You just knew what they were, and you followed them. There were consequences for breaking them.
SO THIS SHIT ASS SESSION. IS PUNISHING ME FOR. BEING TOO FULL OF MYSELF. AND KILLING MY SISTER??
Pretty much.
WHATEVER. I ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES. FOR DOING THOSE EXCELLENT THINGS.
JUST BRING IT ON.
I thought you'd feel that way.
SO WHAT'S SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS SESSION. ASIDE FROM THE FIRST STAGE BEING INSANELY BORING.
It's called a dead session.
SO.
So, there are three kinds of fucked up sessions, and yours is the worst.
There's a null session, which is pretty much a normal session that's doomed to failure.
Everything works correctly. The sprites are prototyped, the battlefield can evolve, the Forge is present, Skaia can gestate a new universe... theoretically.
But events conspire such that this never happens. Basically the players are doomed to fail.
Then there's a void session, which is the same as a null session, but without even having the potential for success.
Nothing is prototyped. The battlefield doesn't evolve. There's no Forge. It is completely inert.
It has no chance of bearing fruit, at least not without some sort of miraculous external intervention. Like a deus ex machina.
And then there's a dead session, which is a void session but worse. It's started by a single player. The kernelsprite collapses into a black hole, sucking the planet into it, and eventually the sun and entire solar system. There is no hope of creating a universe in such a session under any circumstance, not even with outside help. Victory and defeat in a dead session are dictated by totally different terms.
One way of looking at it is, if you're fortunate enough to even get your quest started, it will be like playing the game on the extreme difficulty setting.
Hope you're up for that!
OF COURSE I AM.
LET ME ASK YOU.
IF YOU WERE THE MOST DEADLY DENIZEN OF ALL.
WOULD YOU WANT TO MESS WITH...

> [A6I4] ==>


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RSS: Adventure Updates


Gigapause: Commence.



Posted on 13 April 2014 by Andrew

Happy 4/13, a.k.a. 5 years of Homestuck being a thing! Since I know how much you like things, to celebrate I thought I would show you another thing that's been in the works for a while.



It's a new webcomic based on Homestuck, called Paradox Space! Have a look. That is all I will say about it here. But if you would like to know what the heck this ACTUALLY IS, here is a permalink to the news post where I talk about such matters.

Posted on 3 Mar 2014 by Andrew

2014 What Pumpkin Convention Schedule ... over there! ->

The What Pumpkin crew will be quite active on the con circuit this year. 11 cons by my count (for now). Take a look at the schedule, and make your plans accordingly!

What Pumpkin will be setting up a booth in all these cons where you can buy stuff and meet some friendly WP folk. I personally will only be attending two or three of these. I'm not sure which ones yet. I don't think I can lock myself into anything definite yet, since all that traveling is incredibly time consuming and tends to derail work. That's sort of what happened last year. I traveled way too much, and it really messed me up! So work schedule permitting, I'll probably pick a couple of these later and make some "surprise appearances". That way, if you happen to see me at a convention, you can be 100% certain that our encounter will be a result of PURE DESTINY.

Posted on 24 Jan 2014 by Andrew

introdoucing, 20104............ the NEWD YEAR

Gigapause status: STILL GIGAPAUSED.

It's almost over, right? Um, no, sorry. I still have no time estimate, or specific date I am shooting for. 4/13 would be the COOLEST date to shoot for, right? I doubt that's realistic though. Because in spite of my most religious wishes every single day, magic keeps on being fake. THANKS, "god".

What is the status, then? The status is this. Since pausing, basically all I have been doing is writing. No drawing or animation yet. Writing, writing, writing. Writing for Homestuck, and writing for the adventure game. More time has been allocated to the latter. The game is a big, big project. Let's not kid ourselves here. It's like this whole new major story and everything, fueled by millions of dollars. That's a very different situation from Homestuck, which is usually fueled by approximately zero dollars.

Homestuck probably needs another month of writing before I can start making panels. Not even to speak of Flash work. And of course, game development looms over everything as well. This feels totally different from the usual routine of write-draw-post, write-draw-post, write-draw-post, ad infinitum. Writing everything out beforehand is peculiar. And by peculiar I mean "totally conventional", in most other creative contexts. Let's see how that approach pans out. (You go out on a limb and guess it will result in the same silly bullshit as always.)

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?

Kickstarter - Speaking of the game, I sent out a backer update just before the newd year. The same update just went out to paypal backers too (it took a while to set up a system for that). If you backed the project but didn't notice an update, you might want to check your email. If you didn't back it, sorry these updates are <shhhh>secret</shhhh>. I mean, not really. The info gets "leaked" everywhere, if you know where to look. The point is, *I'M* technically not supposed to be the one tell you. Get it? Oh. You don't? Me neither.

One question I feel like I should answer out in the open even though I kinda thought it was obvious (there is no such thing as obvious) since I see it come up so much: yes, you will be able to purchase the game, even if you did not back the Kickstarter!

Contest - In the near future, I'm going to be putting out some neat things through We Love Fine. WLF is a cool company that makes a lot of nice stuff, that you will find particularly interesting if you are into "the fandoms". Do you like fandoms? When I was a kid we didn't even have those. All we had were shitty Atari games, and spankings.

But before they formally launch any Homestuck stuff, they're running a fun shirt design contest. There are sweet cash prizes. Hey, only participate if you think is sounds fun though. Most people won't win, because that's what a contest is, according to the way that common word is classically defined. I ain't out to waste anyone's time! I do hope plenty of people submit designs though. There's some nutty stuff rolling in. People will laugh at me if I pick the naked Gamzee shirt. DON'T MAKE ME PICK THE NAKED GAMZEE SHIRT!

Another Secret Project - Remember a while ago, I mysteriously mumbled something about a secret project? And then it came along, and it turned out to be Namco High? This is like that again. Except it's not a dating sim. Or a game, or anything like that. Also, it doesn't involve video game characters you've never heard of. It is a much more Homestuck-focused thing. That's all I'm gonna say! Ok, I lied, I will say one more thing: it's going to be really cool, and you will wonder where it has been all your life.

Vinyl Figures - These are up in the store now! For actual sale. Hehe... look at em!



Posted on 20 Dec 2013 by Andrew



Posted on 11 Dec 2013 by Andrew

Behold, it is the festive dump of none other than Father Christmas himself! *Puts on Santa suit, dives head-first onto Slip N Slide full of eggnog.*

But then I stagger to my feet, wring my beard into a glass, add a pinch of nutmeg, and apologize for ruining Christmas. These goods are now available for preorder.



Posted on 28 Nov 2013 by Andrew



This week I give you: THE MOTHERLOAD

Tune in next week for: THE FATHERDUMP

Posted on 13 Oct 2013 by Andrew

Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.




(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)

And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.





2014 Conventions Schedule

Anime Boston / Boston, MA / March 21-23 / Booth # 233, 234

MegaCon / Orlando, FL / March 21-23 / Booth # 1083, 1182

Emerald City Comicon / Seattle, WA / March 28-30 / Booth # 1420

Salt Lake Comic Con (April) / Salt Lake City, UT / April 17-19 / Booth # 1001

WonderCon / Anaheim, CA / April 18-20 / Booth # 1500, 1502

Calgary Expo / Calgary, AB, Canada / April 24-27 / Booths BF 3726 and BF 3725

C2E2 / Chicago, IL / April 25-27 / Booth # 268

Anime Expo / Los Angeles, CA /July 3-6 / Booth # TBA

Florida Supercon / Miami, FL / July 3-6 / Booth # 911, 913, 915

Dragon Con / Atlanta, GA / Aug 29-Sept 1 / Booth # TBA

Salt Lake Comic Con (September) / Salt Lake City, UT / Sept 4-6 / Booth # 1001

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