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Examine room.

Your name is DIRK.

Holy SHIT do you love PUPPETS.

You possess the extreme dexterity to operate your FALSE FRIENDS UNSEEN, that is, when they are not pre-ambulatory through your LOVINGLY IMBUED MECHANIZATION. You dig writing COGNITIVE ALGORITHMS FOR SAID APOCRYPHAL MEN, and you think maybe that's FUCKIN' DOPE. Guess what else is dope? Everything ELSE YOU DO. You're a sickwicked autodidact on ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS, a selfmade MASTER OF MYTHOLOGUE, and a PRETERNATURAL POPCULTURE ACADEME.

If you weren't so DAMN ALOOF and actually let people GET A LOAD, you might get described all kindsa ways. Maybe tagged as a RENAISSANCE NINJA, PHILOSOPHER PRINCE, and FLASHSTEP PUPPETEER. Or perhaps a PANTHEONIC IRONICIST, GANGSTA LOGICIAN, LUCID WAKER and DERSITE SPY. Screw descriptors though, as if the shits you give ain't nil. You're cool with dabbling in the FINE SEQUENTIAL ARTS, and your work could be viewed by some as BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC. And to those philistines you'll be heard wondering, what the fuck do you mean BORDERLINE?

Against the better judgment of one your age, you BUILD ROBOTS, SET THEM TO KILL MODE, AND SPAR WITH THEM TO DEATH. That is, when you're not SENDIFICATING THEM TO FRIENDS, or DUELING THEM WITH RAP LYRICS. But you try to cool it on the deathmatch stuff when your BRO is looking, which is virtually NEVER. And considering he's had a reputation staked on some order of MARTIAL NOBILITY, this strikes you as a STAGGERING OVERSIGHT IN BROTHERLY VIGILANCE. You don't have the HEART to hold it against him, though.

What will you do?

> Dirk: Jut your ass and twitch like a proboscis.


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 26 January 2017 by Andrew

Status of Hiveswap: the game is just about done. It could still use some more testing to be absolutely certain we are not releasing a buggy piece of shit! To that end it will be worth waiting another several weeks or so. Perhaps more intriguingly I should mention that I've been working with some people on another thing, which will need to be announced when it is ready. I think it would be best to coordinate the announcement of the thing in question with the release of the game. So I'm not sure which will be done first, the thing or the testing, but neither will be unveiled until both are good and ready. Thank you as always for your legendary patience.

P.S. here is an ongoing reminder that you can still get cool Hiveswap stuff in advance of playing it, to aid you in your tireless quest to achieve supreme brand loyalty. God speed.

Posted on 22 October 2016 by Andrew

Just going to leave this here for now, and assume that the kids these days will know what to do with it.

Posted on 12 June 2016 by Andrew

The final Homestuck album Volume 10 has been released. More fantastic music by many familiar names who have contributed to the comic over the years. Thanks to all who came together to make this. It's a great way to cap off an impressive discography, now standing at 27 albums.



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