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ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 1

HEY. YOU.
COMPUTER MAN. I NEED MORE HELP.
No.
COMPUTER MAN. ASSIST ME WITH MORE HOT TIPS.
No!
YES.
I'M HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING BLUE HAT.
This is a shameful exploitation of our arrangement.
We weren't supposed to talk anymore once you left Earth.
I DID NOT AGREE TO THOSE TERMS.
Every time we talk, you complain that I am being self indulgent.
But you always come back for more! It's like you can't get enough of me.
I think you might be obsessed.
GIVE ME MORE HOT TIPS ASSHOLE.
You only made that caltop so you could talk to me on the go, didn't you?
NO.
Please, don't lie. Who else would you use it to talk to in your solo session? GAMZEE?
I bet you haven't said one word to him through that device. You never even refer to him by his name.
THE CLOWN HAS BEEN AN ADEQUATE PEON. WHEN IT COMES TO DOING THINGS I DON'T WANT TO DO.
THERE IS NO REASON TO SPEAK TO HIM THROUGH MY FUN HELMET.
You should try to be better friends with him.
He basically ditched his best buddy for you.
WHO CARES?
He reveres you, and you treat him like shit.
YES.
SO.
So...
You're off to a pretty good start at being a god, I guess?
THANK YOU.
LOOK. I JUST SAID A POLITE THING.
NOW REWARD ME WITH WHAT I WANT.
Ugh.
YELLOW HAT IS VERY FAST.
AS A MINION HE HAS BEEN VERY USEFUL.
BUT I AM HAVING TROUBLE DETERMINING THE ABILITIES OF BLUE HAT.
Yellow hat and blue hat?
You should come up with better names for them than that.
LIKE WHAT.
Like, I don't know.
Maybe some cool mobster names?
MOBSTER NAMES.
WHY WOULD I GIVE THEM MOBSTER NAMES.
Because mobsters are cool.
THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE MOBSTERS.
THEY LOOK LIKE FUCKING LEPRECHAUNS.
Anyone can be a mobster though. Even cherubs and leprechauns.
Being a mobster isn't about what you look like, it's about what's inside you.
WOW. THAT IS SO PROFOUND.
NOW STOP STALLING AND GIVE ME TIPS.
Are these the only two you've unlocked so far?
YES.
I HAVE CONQUERED THE SECOND PLANET.
AND HAVE NOW TRAVELED TO THE THIRD.
BEFORE I CONQUER THIS ONE. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT BLUE HAT DOES.
He's pretty much doing what he does.
HE SEEMS TO BE STUCK.
IS HE BROKEN.
No. He's just slow.
WHAT.
That's his power.
Yellow hat is fast.
Blue hat is slow.
THAT'S A HORRIBLE POWER.
HOW IS THAT EVEN A POWER.
It just is.
ARGH.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO ACHIEVING MORE POWERFUL MINIONS.
NOT MORE MALINGERING FOOLS TO TAKE UP SPACE IN MY DARK CARNIVAL.
DO THEY GET BETTER THAN THIS.
That depends on what you mean by better.
OH MY GOD.
OK. WE'RE DONE.
BYE.

> END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 1


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Latest Pages:
1/19/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/16/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/14/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/12/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/9/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/7/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/5/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/2/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/31/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/29/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/22/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/15/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/12/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/8/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/3/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/1/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/28/14 - "[S][A6A6I4] ====>"
11/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/21/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/14/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/11/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/7/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/3/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4"
11/1/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4"
10/25/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3"
10/25/14 - "[S] GAME OVER."
10/17/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"

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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 19 January 2015 by Andrew

So what do we call this pause? I've been batting ideas around all day. We could go with the obvious choice, the MINIGIGAPAUSE. Or maybe, MEGAPAUSE 2: BACK IN THE MEGASADDLE. Or if that makes too much sense, we could always settle on the MICROTERAPAUSE. As you can see, there are so many incredibly intelligent and meaningful things we could call this pause. Deciding how to refer to the pause is an exercise that I will leave to the reader. Feel free to discuss the matter with friends. Or strangers. Anyone who will listen really. If they start to run away, I strongly recommend you chase them.

Why don't we say that A665 begins on 4/13. That's a fun number that we all can get excited about. I have a lot of catch-up work to do between now and then. Not the least of which is drawing the actual content to be posted. But also a lot of gamedev work. Game production is rolling pretty hot right now. Stuff is being churned out almost faster than I can keep track of. Did I mention? I accidentally started running a game studio a little while ago. Whoops, sorry about that. There are all these people being paid to make things happen, and I have to be like "Yeah, keep doing that stuff, everybody." It's getting pretty easy to lose track of how many people work for What Pumpkin. My last estimate was somewhere between 30 and 1000. The true figure is a very frisky moving target.

A6A6A5, a.k.a. Caliborn's Masterpiece, is actually done. It's probably better to hold off posting it until 4/13, when more content will soon follow aftewards. I am sure pausing on that note for months would mess with your head a lot more than the note we're already pausing on. I sometimes feel I have at least a modest responsibility to manage your sanity. It'll be tough sitting on this content though. Tougher than sitting on all of A664 for the better part of a year. I don't think it is out of line to describe it as the best material this website will ever exhibit. It will be all down hill from there, in every direction. Even up.

Speaking of sanity management, way back when, I was pretty on the fence about posting A664 spaced out over months like I did, vs. all at once. Doing the latter in hindsight probably would have been a fucked up thing to do to the internet though. The GAME OVER fallout alone was a bit much as it was. Including it in tandem with the rest of it? Not sure what to make of that. Let's review the CONTENT CRUSH that would have entailed. Bad Anime -> Game Over -> Sadstuck -> Lowas Quest -> 100 retconned panels of oil -> A bunch of other shit -> Punky Serket -> Fantroll Storytime -> 8 password pages -> The Kiss On Horse Mountain -> and finally -> The Punchline. You know, that's an awful lot of baloney to publish. I think the fell-swoop reaction to all that would have been quite a thing to behold, but also, perhaps an irresponsible thing to do to a hapless fanbase after a year in hibernation. I'm told that in 2015, young people are heavily susceptible to "the feels", and trifling with those forces could be injurious to their future development. Wait, did that just sound like something your grandpa would say? Mother fuck, where did I put my cane. Oh right, I snapped it in half from shaking it at the sky.

I may have been in the process of making a point there, but we're going to have to pick this up another time. The comic isn't going to pause itself!!!

Posted on 7 January 2015 by Andrew

CRITICAL HORSE ADJUSTMENT

Over the last couple months, I have been surreptitiously collapsing several update horses into single, bigger horses. This means A6A6I4 is going to end a little sooner than previously advertised. Same total page count, but finishing sooner. Please consult the important horse calendar below.



So what happens when A6A6I4 is done? I'm not quite sure yet. I'm still working on everything that comes after that. I've written it mostly, but haven't drawn anything yet. There will almost certainly be another pause, but I'm not sure how long it will be yet. I will let you know after 1/19.

Posted on 9 December 2014 by Andrew

Here is one last drop of cool stuff for you to buy before your chimneys are plundered by a mythical oaf.

A new one of these guys, who is red:


Charms!:


Cute stickers?? (yes):



Posted on 30 October 2014 by Andrew

Adventure Game Update

I am letting this one be viewable to the general public. (It will also be posted to the backer page of the Kickstarter.)



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