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FINE. NOW WHAT.
Caliborn, first let me explain something to you.
I guess it falls on me to teach you these life lessons, because as unpleasant as the idea is for both of us, I am the closest thing you will ever have to a father.
You see, teenagers are sensitive and beautiful creatures.
Well, not you. You are repulsive. But most teenagers, I mean.
You can't just force them to settle all their issues with insane psychotropic game powerups.
They have to face all those issues themselves, or they will never learn and grow as people.
WHO CARES??
Well, you don't. But human beings do.
The journey itself is more important than the destination.
The struggle is what builds character and teaches us about ourselves and about life.
BULLSHIT.
I DID THEM ALL A FAVOR. BY GIVING THEM MY JUJU.
THEY WERE GOING NOWHERE. AND BEING STUPID.
AND DOING LITERALLY NOTHING WHATSOEVER. EXCEPT FOR WALLOWING IN GROTESQUE EMOTIONS.
LOOK HOW MUCH GREAT STUFF THEY GOT DONE BECAUSE OF ME!
Of course you think you were doing them a favor. You're an alien.
So is your sister. She thought the juju would be a great boon for them as well. But she was wrong.
See, you cherubs are predisposed to love all this trickster crap. All that goofy squeaky candy coated nonsense is a critical part of your people's mythos.
That sugarized zillyjunk sort of embodies a unified field of absurd Platonic ideals to the cherubim, so when you see expressions of it in reality of course you're gonna go apeshit.
But that kind of stuff is freakish and disturbing to humans. Those aren't our ideals.
WHAT.
Furthermore, that could only be seen as a boon from an asocial species.
You never have to deal with other people. So if you lick a magic lollipop that flips a switch in your brain that says "all my problems are solved," I guess maybe that's fine for cherubs, but if you're a human you haven't actually solved anything.
By the same logic it's not much of a boon to a human's physical journey either.
Using an item that lets them start maniacally powering from point A to point B isn't doing them any favors.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
It's like when Mario gets the star.
You know when Mario gets the star?
WHO THE FUCK IS MARIO.
He's a small Italian plumber who goes on sideways adventures.
He jumps on stuff and bops bricks with his head to save a princess.
WHAT'S ITALIAN.
WHAT'S A PLUMBER.
Never mind what an Italian is. It's just a kind of guy on Earth.
And a plumber is a guy who fixes load gapers.
WHAT'S A LOAD GAPER.
Shut up.
Anyway, sometimes when Mario's running sideways he gets a star that makes him magic and invincible.
OH. YOU MEAN HE BECOMES TRICKSTER MARIO.
Yes, but less stupid.
So for a while he becomes flashy and hyperactive and nothing's challenging anymore.
He just starts barreling over mushrooms and leaping over pits as fast as he can, then gets to the end and jumps on the flagpole and that's it. Mario "wins".
But the point is, he didn't really win. That magic star was actually devastating to his development as a human being.
WHY.
Because he skipped over many critical trials on his spiritual journey.
Mario NEEDS to stomp on all those mushrooms. He NEEDS to bonk those bricks with his head, for the sake of his personal growth.
By using the star, he is denying himself many powerful moments of catharsis.
UH.
Well, I don't know. Maybe Mario isn't the best example.
Like I'm not sure if Mario really even has a soul?
He's just kind of a one-dimensional friendly cartoon plumber.
So maybe this stuff doesn't quite apply to him.
But these aren't one-dimensional plumbers we're talking about here.
These are TEENS.
And as we all know, teens have BIG FEELINGS.
I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS.
THE DISCOURSE WITH YOU HAS BEEN EVEN MORE GRATING AND UNPALATABLE THAN USUAL.
YOU SAID YOU'D HELP ME SPEED UP MY QUEST. BUT ALL YOU DID.
WAS TRICK ME INTO HEARING ANOTHER CONVERSATION. IN WHICH YOU INDULGE YOURSELF TO AN EXTENT. WHICH I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE.
I'M GOING TO HIT THINGS WITH MY CROWBAR AGAIN.
No don't!
Jane is still nursing a wicked hangover you ass.
THEN BE USEFUL TO ME.

> ==>


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 22 May 2015 by Andrew

A slight horse modification to the calendar below. I won't be around the stable in time to let him trot about the paddock, so I'm afraid I must release him into the pasture to stud. Goodbye, 5/25 horse. We enjoyed your 50x50 thumbnail, while it was not crossed out.

Posted on 22 April 2015 by Andrew

Thank you to Xamag, Adrienne, Ikimaru, Rennie, and Jones for the great A6A6I5 art!!! And also to Toby several years ago for making Moonsetter.

BEHOLD, THE HORSE CALENDARS



As you can see, it is a pretty swift horse schedule, with a couple of horseless weeks mixed in there. You may recall my mnemonic device for remembering the previous M/W/F schedule of Monhay, Wedsneigh, and Frihorse. Now we can add two more to help you remember, Tuesnort, and Thursclop. I understand this comic can get confusing sometimes, so you are definitely going to need those to help guide you on the rest of this journey.

All pages for the above horses have already been drawn. I still have a batch of pages to draw to round out A6A6I5, but not as many as I have already done. I hope that you like it when characters in stories talk to one another, because there's an awful lot of that to come. Please stand by patiently and enthusiastically as my fake teens sit around bullshitting to the bitter end. Then a bunch of cool stuff will happen, and that will be that!

Posted on 10 April 2015 by Andrew



1) New trailer for Hiveswap! Creeping ever closer to the release of episode one. In case you weren't aware by now, What Pumpkin Studios is developing it. WP is now a gamedev studio which I happen to think is pretty cool. There have been a bunch of Kickstarter updates recently showing progress too. Here are some more links which will help you keep up with game news: Twitter | Tumblr | FB

2) Homestuck returns on April 13th! That's in just a few days. Are you ready? I doubt it, but when has that ever stopped us before. We start with Caliborn's much anticipated masterpiece, running from the 13th-15th. Then regular updates probably resuming a week after that. I haven't decided on the update schedule yet, but when I do it will almost certainly be communicated to you in the only manner which you will tolerate from me, which is more horse calendars. I am thinking of a fairly swift update schedule. A lot has piled up. Over the last month (not counting his 40 page masterpiece, which was done months ago) I have somehow drawn another 400 pages, which is possibly some sort of MSPA record. Be warned, due to that obscene page rate some of these panels are lookin pretty fast and loose! They nevertheless exist, which is usually what matters most for this website. There's still more to draw beyond that to finish off the rest of A6A6I5, which is the final "normal act". But really not too much. We're getting real close here. I will chip away at the remaining panels as I roll out this batch. Then, it's all animation work after that.

3) Paradox Space! 4/13 is the exact one year anniversary of its launch. And as HS resumes, PXS will be pausing for a good while. We actually paused production back in January, and have just been posting from a comic buffer since. This has much to do with shifting priorities heavily to gamedev needs, but I'll explain more about it and the future of PXS in a little while, on that site. But also, there'll be a PXS book coming out soon! It looks very good. Also, if you haven't checked out PXS in a while, now would be a great time, because it's going into its pause on a very strong note. It's been running an incredibly great 51 page story by Zack, Jon, and Shelby. Kudos to all of them. This has easily been one of my faves.



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