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I THINK I'VE BEEN FORCED TO UNLOCK THESE SCREENS. AND VIEW THESE POINTLESS EVENTS. LONG ENOUGH.
MY QUEST IS DUMB. I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET ON WITH THE REAL ADVENTURE.
Has it occurred to you that your quest in its limitless tedium and thankless busywork was designed to facilitate your personal growth?
To prepare you for your ultimate destiny beyond this game?
NO.
ANYWAY DIDN'T YOU SAY ONE TIME. I WAS INCAPABLE OF GROWING???
Oh right.
Well, has it occurred to you that it might have been designed to fuck with your head and serve as a punishment for being such a horrible little shit?
YES!!!
YES.
THAT OCCURS TO ME. EVERY SECOND I THINK ABOUT IT.
I HAVE TOLERATED MANY AGGRAVATIONS.
AND AM PREPARED TO TOLERATE MANY MORE.
IF IT GETS ME CLOSER TO TRIUMPHING OVER YOU AND THIS MORONIC GAME.
I WILL FIND MORE KEYS UNDER RANDOM ASS UNLABELED STONES.
I WILL WATCH ANOTHER MILLION HOURS OF NUMBSKULLS WHIMPERING ABOUT THEIR ROMANCE NOT COMING TRUE.
I WILL EVEN ENDURE MORE OF THESE PATENTLY LUDICROUS ACT ACT ACT ACT ACT ACTS EVEN THOUGH THEY APPEAR TO MEAN NOTHING AT ALL.
BUT WHAT I WILL NOT STAND FOR.
IS GOING.
FUCKING.
BACKWARDS!!!
Fair enough.
But I already told you how to accelerate your viewing.
WHAT? WHEN.
See those two panes of glass there?
Take your crowbar and smash them.
OH. YEAH.
UGH. I FORGOT.
IS THAT REALLY THE ONLY WAY. TO GO TO WHAT'S NEXT.
SO THAT I CAN PUT MY PLANS IN MOTION?
Yes.
You should be pleased by the irony.
Smashing the glass will cause you to reflect upon a lifetime you have yet to spend...
Um.
Breaking stuff.
???
Is the irony not fucking delicious?
NO.
STOP TRYING TO BOGART MY SCHTICK. OF PLAYING INSIDIOUS MIND GAMES AND DOING SHITTY TWISTS.
YOU SUCK AT IT SO BAD.
I'm sorry.
IT'S NOT BREAKING THE GLASS I MIND.
THIS IS THE THING THAT INVOLVES.
*SHUDDER*
"TEAM WORK"
RIGHT?
Yes.
You and a buddy have to turn both keys simultaneously.
It will teach you a wonderful lesson about life.
FUCK!
Don't act like you aren't secretly having a great time there with your new friends.
You are practically the ringmaster of your own little dark carnival by now.
And you're loving every minute of it. Don't deny it.
NO I'M NOT!
Sooner or later you will have to face the fact that literally all adventures are about learning the value of teamwork.
Teamwork and friendship. The two razor sharp edges of the mighty excalibur which EVERY hero should keep in his scabbard.
Even shitty heroes like you.
FINE. I'LL DO IT.
BUT ONLY BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE. WHERE I TALK TO YOU. FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND.
WOULD BE SO MUCH WORSE.
-- The narrative prompt has been locked. --

> Caliborn: Break glass.


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 13 April 2017

Got a new trailer for you to check out.

Furthermore, there looks to be a post from ya boy, and mine, (the world's boy, really), Cohen, providing some insight as to the status of the game's development.

It also seems that a famous meat sandwich shop, called Arby's, has tweeted about Homestuck today? Why don't we call that the huge news of the day. Hell, let's agree to regard it as the most significant event of the past eight years.

Also a reminder of the What Pumpkin sale, including discounts on albums.

Posted on 7 April 2017

We Love Fine has begun its traditional 413 promotion. Have at it, folks:



There's also a sale going on at the What Pumpkin store.

Not much else set to drop on 4/13 this year. Should be an update on game status. See you then.

Posted on 12 June 2016 by Andrew

The final Homestuck album Volume 10 has been released. More fantastic music by many familiar names who have contributed to the comic over the years. Thanks to all who came together to make this. It's a great way to cap off an impressive discography, now standing at 27 albums.



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