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[A6I4] ==>

SO MY GOAL IS. TO BURROW FUCK DEEP INTO THE CENTER OF EARTH.
UNLOCK HIS DOOR.
AND THEN DESTROY HIM.
Sort of.
You can fight him then and there if you want. But that won't do you much good. And not just because he'd probably kill you instantly.
You're better off listening to him.
WHY.
Because he will make you an offer.
By which I mean he will give you The Choice.
THE CHOICE TO DO WHAT.
I won't tell you that.
FUCK. NO.
YOU WERE ON SUCH A ROLL. OF NOT BEING SHITTY.
It's just a very important decision you will have to take into consideration once you hear it. Something unique to you and your journey.
Basically, if you accept his terms, your real adventure will begin. Your true planet will be unlocked, and a whole lot of other crazy shit will happen. It's best not to get bogged down in the details though.
The bottom line is, by accepting, you will begin the most difficult game session anyone has ever attempted.
WHAT.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
WHY DO I GET SUCH A RAW DEAL.
Because you are being punished.
FOR WHAT.
For your hubris in embarking on a one player session.
That's against the rules.
WHAT RULES. WHERE ARE THESE RULES WRITTEN.
They aren't written anywhere. They're just the rules.
Are the rules you and your sister followed written anywhere?
NO.
You just knew what they were, and you followed them. There were consequences for breaking them.
SO THIS SHIT ASS SESSION. IS PUNISHING ME FOR. BEING TOO FULL OF MYSELF. AND KILLING MY SISTER??
Pretty much.
WHATEVER. I ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES. FOR DOING THOSE EXCELLENT THINGS.
JUST BRING IT ON.
I thought you'd feel that way.
SO WHAT'S SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS SESSION. ASIDE FROM THE FIRST STAGE BEING INSANELY BORING.
It's called a dead session.
SO.
So, there are three kinds of fucked up sessions, and yours is the worst.
There's a null session, which is pretty much a normal session that's doomed to failure.
Everything works correctly. The sprites are prototyped, the battlefield can evolve, the Forge is present, Skaia can gestate a new universe... theoretically.
But events conspire such that this never happens. Basically the players are doomed to fail.
Then there's a void session, which is the same as a null session, but without even having the potential for success.
Nothing is prototyped. The battlefield doesn't evolve. There's no Forge. It is completely inert.
It has no chance of bearing fruit, at least not without some sort of miraculous external intervention. Like a deus ex machina.
And then there's a dead session, which is a void session but worse. It's started by a single player. The kernelsprite collapses into a black hole, sucking the planet into it, and eventually the sun and entire solar system. There is no hope of creating a universe in such a session under any circumstance, not even with outside help. Victory and defeat in a dead session are dictated by totally different terms.
One way of looking at it is, if you're fortunate enough to even get your quest started, it will be like playing the game on the extreme difficulty setting.
Hope you're up for that!
OF COURSE I AM.
LET ME ASK YOU.
IF YOU WERE THE MOST DEADLY DENIZEN OF ALL.
WOULD YOU WANT TO MESS WITH...

> [A6I4] ==>


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 26 January 2017 by Andrew

Status of Hiveswap: the game is just about done. It could still use some more testing to be absolutely certain we are not releasing a buggy piece of shit! To that end it will be worth waiting another several weeks or so. Perhaps more intriguingly I should mention that I've been working with some people on another thing, which will need to be announced when it is ready. I think it would be best to coordinate the announcement of the thing in question with the release of the game. So I'm not sure which will be done first, the thing or the testing, but neither will be unveiled until both are good and ready. Thank you as always for your legendary patience.

P.S. here is an ongoing reminder that you can still get cool Hiveswap stuff in advance of playing it, to aid you in your tireless quest to achieve supreme brand loyalty. God speed.

Posted on 22 October 2016 by Andrew

Just going to leave this here for now, and assume that the kids these days will know what to do with it.

Posted on 12 June 2016 by Andrew

The final Homestuck album Volume 10 has been released. More fantastic music by many familiar names who have contributed to the comic over the years. Thanks to all who came together to make this. It's a great way to cap off an impressive discography, now standing at 27 albums.



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