ROSE: Dave, we were sort of in the middle of something here. DAVE: in the middle of what ROSE: A series of heartfelt conversations of a personal nature. DAVE: oh DAVE: i guess im in the middle of those now too DAVE: im feeling heartfelt as fuck somebody bone me up on the shit ROSE: One cannot simply be boned up on shit such as this. You had to be there. DAVE: come on ROSE: Wizards, Problems, Feelings. It was your standard tale of two estranged mutual mothers. ROSE: Any questions? DAVE: yes lots ROSE: Ok. ROSE: Can you maybe sit over there for a while and write them all down? DAVE: um KANAYA: Rose This Accumulation Of People Is Coming Dangerously Close To What Your Culture Might Process As A Human Familial Unit KANAYA: This Is A Foreign Idea To Me And Probably A Private Matter To You So I Think I Will Leave You All Alone And Go Talk To Some Trolls KANAYA: Personally I Think You Should Welcome Dave Into The Fold Of Your Poignant Wizard Reverie KANAYA: From My Cultural Point Of View At Least He Has As Much Claim To A Sense Of Ancestral Connection To Your Mother As You KANAYA: See You Everybody DAVE: yeah man kanaya to the rescue with smart shit to say as usual ROSE: Utterly destroyed again, by her superior sense of reason and decorum. ROSE: Though I do wonder if her perspective would be different if she'd ever had to manage relations with a "twin brother". DAVE: ok but who cares about that DAVE: so rose DAVE: its our mom DAVE: hey mom ROXY: hi!!! DAVE: well not mom DAVE: your actual name instead of that i guess DAVE: roxy i think ROXY: u think right ROXY: moms ok too tho DAVE: i dunno that might be weird DAVE: calling you that all the time DAVE: rose would that be weird ROSE: It would probably get a little weird. DAVE: so mom DAVE: im just going to jump right into the fuckin frying pan here DAVE: like tape off a no bullshit zone for a while DAVE: if thats ok ROXY: a frying pan in the no bullshit zone?? ROXY: sounds intense ROXY: who is manning this pan and who gave him clearance for the no bs zone DAVE: captain Serious is at the pan and he got the go-ahead from lieutenant Doesnt Fuckaround of the Heartattack Armada ROXY: isnt lieutenant a lower rank than captain ROXY: who put this dude in charge of such an important pan DAVE: um i dont know maybe it is? DAVE: ok like its cool that you even know that fact but this is exactly the kind of fuckery the no bs zone doesnt cotton to no matter what sorta cookware is involved or which pseudomilitary organization regulates its borders DAVE: i just have some questions about you and about stuff in general so rather than mumble through a conversation that sounds mostly like the stuff we literally just got done sayin, sweet though that would be, im gonna machine gun some shit at you lighting round style ROXY: a machine gun lightning round in a frying pan!!!!! ROXY: god.........DAMN DAVE: i know right? DAVE: so DAVE: you are my biological mother ROXY: yes DAVE: and roses ROXY: yes DAVE: and therefore bear at least partial and like biologically incidental responsibility for why we are both so fucked up ROXY: yes DAVE: but you yourself are a paradox clone ROXY: um... i guess? DAVE: which means DAVE: you didnt even have bio parents DAVE: you originated from yourself ROXY: guess so! DAVE: so you really dont have anyone to blame for who you are except weirdly and paradoxically yourself ROXY: um.. y.. yes? ROSE: Dave. DAVE: wait ok DAVE: sorry if that sounded rude i didnt mean it rudely DAVE: i mean DAVE: you did have a "parental figure" who you i guess modeled yourself after in a way DAVE: or were influenced by i mean DAVE: an old version of rose from a long time ago ROXY: yes! DAVE: and my bro was the same way DAVE: or DAVE: your friend i mean ROXY: dirk! DAVE: he was a paradox clone of himself DAVE: and he like DAVE: did kind of the same thing DAVE: modeled himself after... ROXY: ... DAVE: why dont we not talk about dirk DAVE: can we change the subject ROXY: you brought him up!! DAVE: i know DAVE: i know DAVE: look DAVE: i bring up a lot of things DAVE: and then have to back track a lot of those things i bring up DAVE: cause sometimes the things i bring up are ill advised to say or make people uncomfortable or make me uncomfortable DAVE: its just a thing about me ROXY: ooh! ROXY: just had a thought ROXY: do i get to do a lightning round at you next?? DAVE: i guess so yeah DAVE: depends on if you want to keep sitting in this goddamn pan ROXY: hmm i dunno ROXY: maybe our asses are gettin too hot DAVE: maybe you should speak for yourself ROSE: DAVE! DAVE: SHIT ROXY: lol DAVE: no mom look DAVE: roxy i mean DAVE: its like i was just saying DAVE: i just say things it is just like this force of nature no one can control or even try to, least of all me DAVE: we just have to cross our fingers and hope for the best DAVE: and that my one man verbal slapstick routine isnt too freudian in nature or at least not that often DAVE: anyway lets pretend i didnt just insinuate you have a hot ass and move on ROXY: ;) DAVE: i heard something about wizards DAVE: you hells into wizards like rose? ROXY: YES DAVE: ok well that is a predictable if somewhat bland fact DAVE: lets see if we can dig a lil deeper DAVE: dont get me wrong wizards are ok i guess ROXY: oh yeah? well maybe YOURE ok DAVE: yeah, im alright DAVE: wizards are better at magic than me DAVE: but im better than wizards at rap DAVE: so i guess it breaks even DAVE: or it would if i was a pretend jackass in silly robes and a dumb beard DAVE: so point goes to dave ROSE: (Sigh.) DAVE: do you like rap ROXY: kinda! ROXY: dirk loves rap so i... ROXY: ummm haha never mind ROXY: forgot we werent talkin about that DAVE: well what do you like to do ROXY: i like........... ROXY: cats!!! DAVE: ok that is a fair opinion but cats arent actually an activity or anything ROXY: theyyy kinda were for me though! ROXY: i uh ROXY: used to clone them ROXY: i may have um ROXY: gotten a little carried away DAVE: cat cloning huh DAVE: that sounds like a pretty dope hobby DAVE: i think were getting somewhere DAVE: so you had access to that kind of stuff becaused you lived in a scifi world ROXY: a scifi world? DAVE: yeah the future DAVE: what was the future like ROXY: watery ROXY: fulla chess people ROXY: lots o pumpkins ROXY: u kno ROXY: usual dystopian stuff DAVE: i see DAVE: and it was just the chess guys and you DAVE: like alone DAVE: no other people except for bro DAVE: who i guess was way off somewhere? ROXY: yup DAVE: sounds like kind of a bummer ROXY: yeah ROXY: i talked to my friends a lot though ROXY: via computers n shit DAVE: thats cool DAVE: me too DAVE: maybe when it comes down to it our lives werent that different DAVE: except for the extinction of humanity part DAVE: my humans were just DAVE: imminently extinct is all DAVE: i didnt have chess guys around though DAVE: theyre actually good company ROXY: yeah!! DAVE: my best best best best best friend is a chess guy DAVE: hes the mayor DAVE: ill have to introduce you to him soon DAVE: youll love the mayor everybody loves the mayor ROXY: wanna meet the mayor! DAVE: dont worry ill put in a good word for you pretty sure we can find an opening in his schedule DAVE: tell me more ROXY: more? DAVE: about you ROXY: damn dude ROXY: this frying pan... ROXY: shit be SIZZLIN DAVE: fuck yeah DAVE: aside from cat breeding how else did you pass the time ROXY: ummmmmmmm ROXY: writin ROXY: um ROXY: a FAIR amount of uh ROXY: lets say recreational liquid intake ROXY: and uhh ROXY: oh um hacking DAVE: haha seriously DAVE: like actual hacking ROXY: yeah! ROXY: well computer programming rly ROXY: hacking is just what u call it to sound cool ROXY: there wasnt even much shit around to "hack" DAVE: so kinda like john DAVE: except DAVE: i think he pretty much sucked at his codes ROXY: hahahahaha really DAVE: yeah DAVE: he seemed to find it frustrating mainly DAVE: his bitching about it is literally my only point of reference for his degree of proficiency DAVE: youre good though right DAVE: i bet youre good ROXY: tha BEST 8) DAVE: knew it ROXY: maybe i could give him some pointers on the leet haxx DAVE: fuck yes DAVE: hed be all about that DAVE: or i think he should be which is all that matters DAVE: do that and insist on it if he gets weirdly obstinate or like tries to pretend he doesnt like programming anymore ROXY: ok DAVE: what else ROXY: oh umm ROXY: idk dave i might be runnin outta shit to say! DAVE: you sure ROXY: iiii ROXY: liked to play games? DAVE: what games ROXY: uh mostly... ROXY: the nintendos DAVE: i see DAVE: which nintendos ROXY: a whole bunch of nintendos!! ROXY: like lotsa diff systems n titles ROXY: i dunno if the ones i associate strongly with would have the same meaning like culturally speaking for you ROXY: because to me they were all like cool ancient relics that kept me somewhat in touch with a world that was long gone DAVE: that makes sense DAVE: thats mostly the relationship i have now with garbage romcoms DAVE: largely because karkat likes watchin em DAVE: so these godforsaken flicks have helped keep me grounded in our dead civilization in a weird way DAVE: but re: games... DAVE: i didnt have nintendos DAVE: my bro had xbox so i played that sometimes DAVE: but he mostly had all these shitty skating games DAVE: and like 20 different tony hawk titles DAVE: i would mainly just play them to fuck around DAVE: like find spectacular ways to crash and flop around like a douchey ragdoll DAVE: or figure out ways to get halfway stuck inside concrete fixtures and obstacles DAVE: and watch all these cool fratty bros twitch and flop ad infinitum DAVE: like struggling valiantly and earnestly forever against the shitty and deeply flawed physics of their confining virtual prison DAVE: i saw them as tragic figures ROXY: that sounds incredible tbh DAVE: pretty much ROXY: do u think we can play games together some time? ROXY: wanna see ur majestic skatebros in their element DAVE: oh my dick yes ROSE: Dave. DAVE: what ROXY: ok ok ! ROXY: i think its ROXY: my turn?? ROXY: keep your ass in the pan buddy u gona get GRILLED DAVE: thats fair ROXY: oh um ROXY: rose please dont think im excluding you! ROXY: jump in the convo any time k? DAVE: meh shes fine ROXY: :p ROSE: I'm perfectly happy serving as a spectator and occasional officiator of this conversation. ROSE: It's quite entertaining to behold, really. I love watching how different personalities collide with each other upon meeting. ROSE: Neither of you is failing to disappoint. ROXY: lmao ROXY: god is EVERYONE in this family tree a psychoanalyst??? DAVE: yo thats been like DAVE: her EXACT top preoccupation since she was a fuckin baby DAVE: didnt she tell you ROXY: haha no ROXY: but yeah makes sense ROXY: but like, youre all mr funny interrogation right now, rose is quite possibly a literal therapist in training i guess?? and uh dirk is dirk ROXY: just makes ya think is all DAVE: were all fucked up, the end DAVE: so what you wanna know mom DAVE: ..rox
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??