ROXY: ok i opened it ROXY: hey look its the same shit as before ROXY: im supposed to make this weird knobbly spike ball appear out of nothin JADE:yes ROXY: ok got it ROXY: let me give it a shot then ROXY: ... ROXY: welp still impossible ROXY: what now maam?? JADE:it is not impossible ROXY: is 2 JADE:you are the rogue of void JADE:dont you know what that means? ROXY: i dunno ROXY: means i can turn invisible and stuff? ROXY: like the blonde in that crappy superhero quartet JADE:it means a lot more than that JADE:your true powers are more impressive than those of anyone else in your crappy quartet JADE:in fact i would say they are almost as cool as mine >:) ROXY: not sure the ability to make weird spikeballs outta nothin is all that cool tbh JADE:not just spikeballs! JADE:imagine that your title is roughly synonymous with "one who steals nothing" JADE:what do you think it means to be able to steal nothing? ROXY: it means ROXY: im like a shitty cat burglar who sucks at her job? JADE:WRONG JADE:it means just the opposite JADE:it means you can steal the essence of nothingness from something JADE:you can rob nothingness from an idea if you put your mind to it JADE:effectively allowing you to conjure virtually anything out of thin air ROXY: omg ROXY: u cant be serious ROXY: that is way too much superpower 4 a dork like me 2 have JADE:grrrrr... ROXY: oh no ROXY: pls dont growl @ me dogjade ROXY: is legit frightening :( JADE:im sorry, but your remarks of self deprecation made me very angry JADE:once i was even more of a dork than you JADE:but now i am one of the most powerful beings who has ever existed JADE:i dont want to hear any whining about what you think you cant do JADE:you are hereby under strict orders from myself and her condescension to "clam up" and conjure that orb, do you understand? ROXY: so im just supposed to ROXY: sit here and think about this ugly ball ROXY: and twiddle my fingers or somethin ROXY: ? JADE:you tell me JADE:space is my racket, not void ROXY: maybe it would help if i knew what the dang thing WAS ROXY: how am i supposed to steal the nonexistence from a concept when the concept only exists in my mind as "ugly ball" JADE:its called the matriorb JADE:it is the key to resurrecting the troll race JADE:once you create it the empress will hatch it on an uninhabited planet located beyond the reach of her cruel employer JADE:there her people will have another chance to thrive without the ever looming threat of extinction that comes with his influence JADE:so you see roxy, there is nothing noble about refusing to help JADE:once an entire alien race went extinct because of a terrible monster, and you can help give them a second chance JADE:dont you want that? ROXY: um ROXY: in theory sure i guess ROXY: but ur basically asking me to bring a lot of people back to life so they can be slaves to that witch ROXY: u want me to help make all these fresh new trolls but then just turn em over to her? like here you go have fun SNORKELBITCH MEGAHITLER ROXY: i do not actually think i wanna do that?? JADE:yes fair enough, but heres the other thing... JADE:if you dont i am going to kill you ROXY: oh noes JADE:oh yesses! JADE:a literal plurality of yesses JADE:seeing as you are a god tier it is very likely you will come back to life JADE:so i can just keep killing you over and over a different way each time JADE:maybe i will disembowel you a few times JADE:i will not even need to use my sharp doggy teeth! JADE:i will just snap my fingers and your delicious guts will teleport outside your body ROXY: ew! JADE:no way more like yum JADE:i will just keep on killing you again and again JADE:until you finally get tired of dying and follow your orders ROXY: maaan ROXY: evil jade is sucky jade JADE:i believe you will find i am the suckiest jade there is JADE:now we are going to be here in this cell for as long as it takes JADE:i am not going anywhere until you try doing your voidey thing and make something appear JADE:is that understood?
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??