KARKAT: I THINK WE ARE MISSING THE POINT HERE. KARKAT: THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT AN UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH A FOUL SOFT DRINK. KARKAT: IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF. KARKAT: YOU ARE BARELY FUNCTIONAL RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN'T EVEN PICK YOURSELF UP OFF THE FLOOR AND PUT ON A PAIR OF PANTS. KARKAT: REMEMBER PANTS TEREZI?? YOU USED TO LOVE PANTS! TEREZI: Y34H, P4NTS 4R3 PR3TTY GR34T KARKAT: YOU USED TO... KARKAT: YOU USED TO BE A LOT OF THINGS. AND ALL OF THOSE WERE GOOD THINGS. KARKAT: BUT NOW THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO ARRIVE, RIGHT WHEN WE NEED YOU THE MOST, YOU DO A SENSATIONAL BELLYFLOP INTO A CIRCUS VAT OF YOUR OWN TANGY SLOBBER. TEREZI: OH PL34S3 TEREZI: WH4T COULD YOU POSS1BLY N33D M3 FOR? KARKAT: YOU'RE AN IMPORTANT MEMBER OF THIS PARTY! KARKAT: WE'LL NEED YOU TO HELP STAND UP TO JACK, AND WHATEVER ELSE IS WAITING FOR US THERE. TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 W1LL B3 V3RY US3FUL KARKAT: WELL, NOT LIKE THIS YOU WON'T. YOU'VE GOT TO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. TEREZI: NO! 1 M34N TEREZI: 3V3N TH3N 1 WONT B3 TEREZI: 1 DONT H4V3 MUCH TO OFF3R 3V3N ON MY B3ST D4Y KARKAT: WHAT ABOUT YOUR MIND POWERS THOUGH! KARKAT: WHAT IF WE NEED SOMEBODY WITH MIND POWERS? TO DO SOME SORT OF... KARKAT: MINDY THING. TEREZI: WH4T M1ND POW3RS?? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. THE ONES WHERE YOU... KARKAT: FLIP A COIN. AND... KARKAT: SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENS. KARKAT: OK, I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HOW IT WORKS. BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT? TEREZI: PFFF TEREZI: 1 N3V3R D3V3LOP3D THOS3 POW3RS V3RY W3LL TEREZI: 4ND 1TS B33N 4 LONG T1M3 S1NC3 1 3V3N THOUGHT 4BOUT TH3M TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK TH3YR3 V3RY V4LU4BL3 HON3STLY TEREZI: 1N F4CT 4LL TH3Y 3V3R S33M3D TO DO W4S TR1CK M3 1NTO F33L1NG L1K3 1 KN3W WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG TEREZI: TH3Y 4CTU4LLY M4D3 M3 B3L13V3 1 W4S 1N CONTROL OF OTH3R P3OPL3S F4T3S TEREZI: NOT 3V3N TO SP34K OF MY OWN TEREZI: 1T W4S 4 R34LLY D4NG3ROUS K1ND OF D3LUS1ON TEREZI: 4ND NOW 1T F33LS L1K3 TH3 ONLY "H3RO1C" TH1NG 1 3V3R D1D W1TH THOS3 POW3RS TEREZI: W4S US3 TH3M TO JUST1FY K1LL1NG MY FR13ND KARKAT: HUH? TEREZI: ... KARKAT: OH. KARKAT: RIGHT. TEREZI: 4ND WH4TS WORS3 1S TEREZI: TO TH1S D4Y, 1M ST1LL NOT 3V3N TOT4LLY SUR3 1F 1T W4S N3C3SS4RY TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1V3 LOST TH3 4B1L1TY TO T3LL 1F 1M B31NG PUN1SH3D FOR WH4T 1 D1D, OR 1F 1 4M PUN1SH1NG MYS3LF KARKAT: WELL, YEAH. OF COURSE IT WAS NECESSARY. KARKAT: EVEN IF IT WASN'T THE MORALLY RIGHT CHOICE OR WHATEVER, IT WAS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING THAT HAD TO HAPPEN. KARKAT: THAT'S THE CRUEL THING ABOUT PARADOX SPACE. IT SYSTEMICALLY VALIDATES ALL YOUR MISTAKES AS NECESSARY OUTCOMES. KARKAT: NOT EVEN NECESSARY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD OR PERSONAL GROWTH. IT'S ALWAYS BIGGER THAN YOU. LIKE YOUR ERRORS IN JUDGMENT ARE INSEPARABLE FROM THE WAY REALITY HAS TO UNFOLD. KARKAT: SO IT NEVER LETS YOU FORGET ABOUT THEM. BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL CRITICAL TO THE BIG PICTURE, AND ALL YOUR PAST FLAWS ARE LIKE... KARKAT: SCARS. KARKAT: SCARS IN SPACETIME THAT NEVER HEAL, AND ALWAYS SERVE TO REMIND YOU THAT THE PERFECT VERSION OF YOURSELF YOU WISH YOU COULD BE CAN NEVER EXIST. BECAUSE THE SURVIVAL OF EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT DEPENDS ON HIM NOT EXISTING. TEREZI: 1 KNOW 4LL TH4T TEREZI: 1T DO3SNT STOP M3 FROM WOND3R1NG KARKAT: IT'S SIMPLE. IF YOU HADN'T KILLED HER, YOU WOULD HAVE WITHERED AWAY IN A DOOMED TIMELINE. TEREZI: Y34H! 4ND SOM3T1M3S 1 W1SH 1 H4D! TEREZI: 4T TH1S PO1NT 1 TH1NK 1 WOULD R4TH3R B3 TH3 B3TT3R P3RSON WHO M4D3 TH3 R1GHT D3C1S1ON TEREZI: 3V3N 1F 1T 4LSO M34NT B31NG TH3 ON3 TO F4D3 4W4Y FOR3V3R KARKAT: WELL, *I* WOULDN'T WANT THAT! KARKAT: DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER TO YOU? KARKAT: DOES THAT FACTOR ANYWHERE INTO YOUR DREARY EXISTENTIAL EQUATION??? TEREZI: YOU PROB4BLY TH1NK 1M CR4ZY TEREZI: JUST 4S CR4ZY 4S YOU TH1NK 1 4M FOR D4T1NG G4MZ33 TEREZI: BUT TEREZI: 1 R34LLY M1SS H3R KARKAT: NO KARKAT: I DON'T THINK YOU'RE CRAZY FOR THAT. TEREZI: 4ND Y3T TEREZI: 1F 1 3V3R S4W H3R 4G41N TEREZI: TH3R3S NO W4Y 1 COULD T4LK TO H3R TEREZI: SO P4RT OF M3 HOP3S 1 N3V3R- TEREZI: OW!!!!!!!
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??