DAVE: hey am i interrupting anything VRISKA: Hey, Dave. No, Arquius and I were just exchanging some notes 8efore I 8ring the meeting to order again. DAVE: ok i just thought i would DAVE: saunter over here DAVE: things are getting pretty lalonde heavy over there VRISKA: It really is an awful lot of fucking Lalondes, isn't it. DAVE: two was ok or actually cool even but this DAVE: yeah DAVE: time to see whats up over here DAVE: how is it going there broquiusprite ARQUIUSPRITE: Nearly finished radically downgrading crocker here ARQUIUSPRITE: I then plan on mourning the complete restoration of her woeful inferiority with a moment of silent, subtle fle%ing DAVE: ok that was some weird stuff to say DAVE: but cool DAVE: soooo DAVE: you are DAVE: some sort of freak right ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes DAVE: ok good to know DAVE: its like DAVE: talking to someone who is half my bro... DAVE: but then not even really? DAVE: the bro half is half AI or something?? DAVE: so maybe one quarter bro DAVE: but then maybe even less because like alt-universe considerations and also part sprite ARQUIUSPRITE: I am notorious for being sensational at mathemati%, but I don't think I could break it down for you without lying about the precision of my figures ARQUIUSPRITE: Which is a practice I am by no means above, mind you DAVE: yeah the bottom line is i can tell youre just a really watered down version DAVE: or maybe DAVE: sweated down DAVE: why the fuck are you so sweaty ARQUIUSPRITE: I'm not ARQUIUSPRITE: I toweled off less than a minute ago DAVE: oh god ARQUIUSPRITE: Sir Dave, there's much we could talk about, en route to wa%ing HARD sentimental about our dubiously shared fraternal past ARQUIUSPRITE: The fact that I will not shouldn't be mistaken for preoccupation with this delicate cybertask, which is trivial to me since my mind is a faultless silicon mesh of living algorithmic perfe%ion ARQUIUSPRITE: Neighther should it be ascribed to the fact that my troll hemidentity finds the notion of a reunion with you to be boring as a fiddling fruit ARQUIUSPRITE: It is manely that such a bonding e%perience strikes me as an endeavor falling outside my totally ripped and kicktuchus purview ARQUIUSPRITE: Brothertimes with Real Dave would best be left to the custody of Real Dirk, not to mention someone who gives at least greater than half a stupid shoot about you VRISKA: (Swoon.) DAVE: you know DAVE: im kinda glad you sound this insane and for the most part barely understandable DAVE: it makes it extra obvious you arent my legit bro DAVE: which means i can actually talk to you while only being like vaguely confused and unsettled instead of curling up into a ball and having some sort of social conniption DAVE: speaking of which DAVE: uh DAVE: when is he supposed to get here btw VRISKA: Relax, Dave. VRISKA: He's scheduled to arrive around the same time as all the other 8ad guys. VRISKA: You still have time. VRISKA: I could have expedited his arrival, 8ut I knew that meeting him was going to 8e a 8ig deal for you, so I decided to let you have some space while we made some plans. VRISKA: See? I'm always thinking a8out what's good for you guys, and what's 8est for the overall strategy. VRISKA: Keeping everyone in high spirits is important! DAVE: what do you mean DAVE: 'expedited' VRISKA: Never mind that. VRISKA: Just chill out! DAVE: alright DAVE: so as long as im supposedly chillin and in no way wondering about my bro DAVE: are you SURE there are no beverages in that fridge DAVE: no aj or ARQUIUSPRITE: It's a blind alley, brother dawg ARQUIUSPRITE: I already asked if she had milk in there once, plus another nine redundant times after that ARQUIUSPRITE: I also asked if she would like to touch my muscles ARQUIUSPRITE: The answers were ten no's and one yes ARQUIUSPRITE: That reminds me dave ARQUIUSPRITE: Would you like to touch my muscles? DAVE: maybe later DAVE: so youre sure theres nothin to drink in there VRISKA: Yes, Dave. DAVE: dunno why im so insistent DAVE: not like my fridge ever had anything comestible inside DAVE: why the fuck did you even bring it VRISKA: Don't worry about it. DAVE: oh come on TEREZI: G4MZ33'S 1N TH3R3
DAVE: oh right DAVE: somehow i forgot that we literally just established that you had gamzee locked in there for some reason DAVE: you sure we shouldnt maybe DAVE: let him out TEREZI: >:\ DAVE: he could suffocate in there TEREZI: H3'LL JUST R3V1V3 TEREZI: GOD T13R STYL3, R1GHT? DAVE: hes not a fuckin god tier DAVE: hes faking it he just made that fuckin suit from scratch or something DAVE: i know hes complete trash but maybe we should just let him out DAVE: whats the harm its not like he can cause much trouble DAVE: we all way outnumber him and have way more powers and shit TEREZI: UM... VRISKA: No.
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??